Introducing Debora Holmes



We are thrilled to introduce one of our newer editors, Debora Holmes. Deb has joined us during the past year and works mainly with technical, educational, and Christian nonfiction.

Editor and writer Debora Holmes, Minneapolis, has been helping authors refine and publish their works for over a decade and a half. After graduating with English and music degrees from Gustavus Adolphus College in St. Peter, Minnesota, Debora also obtained a degree in pre-vet med (chemical, biological, and animal sciences) from the University of Minnesota before obtaining her Masters in Environmental Studies from The Evergreen State College, Olympia, Washington. Her many strengths include ongoing experience with a diverse set of authors and publications (from devotionals to technical government documents to all sorts of scientific papers), skill working with different levels of writing (including much experience with ESL authors), and the ability to switch effortlessly between topics and styles, including between American, British, and Canadian English; she is also a member of the Editors’ Association of Canada.

For close to a decade Debora was the full-time editor of Environmental Practice, the professional and ethics-centered journal of the National Association of Environmental Professionals (NAEP), for which she received the NAEP President’s Award among many other accolades. Besides the journal, she has ghostwritten, ghost-edited, copyedited, and proofread vast numbers of documents. Large projects before joining the IFW team have included, for example, listed editor (print and e-books) of The State of Sustainability Initiatives Review 2010 and 2014 (available HERE and HERE), books/reports for the Canadian Council of Academies, and hundreds of research articles; favorite projects include inspirational books for women and in the environmental sciences (a list of selected projects is available upon request). Debora comes from a line of Lutheran ministers (occasionally having the privilege to edit her father’s homilies) and is also employed as pianist/organist and vocalist at her church.

Deb is the mother of very different twin boys in the second grade, both of whom fascinate her and inspire a great deal of her writing, including writing on and for children with autism.


Her favorite thing to do when not penning and editing is to grab the family’s energetic Jack Russell mix and experience the love of God through nature with her children. 

Gifts for Writers

by Sandy Tritt 

It's that time of year when we're scrambling to find gifts for those we love, so we've come up with a few ideas for the writers you love--or, if you are the said writer, some suggestions you can email or forward to those who love you. Here are our suggestions, from the mundane to the unique to the interesting. And, if we missed anything (which I'm sure we have), be sure to leave a comment with your suggestions to win something that isn't chocolate (because I think I ate it all).

Office Supplies: printer ink, printer paper, pens, a set of highlighters of various colors, post-it notes and flags, spiral notebooks to capture middle-of-the-night ideas, a wireless mouse, envelopes, postage, paper clips, journals, colored pencils, or plastic manuscript boxes (yes, many of us still print out our work for safe-keeping, sharing, mailing, or taking with us on the train).

Reference materials: a style guide in both electronic and paperback forms (hint: Chicago Manual of Style is recommended for memoir and fiction writers); "cheat sheets" for your favorite style guide; the Emotion Thesaurus (Ackerman/Puglisi) for help in giving descriptions of ways to show and not tell various emotions; a good dictionary, such as the American Heritage Dictionary; Self-Editing for Fiction Writers (Browne/King); Roget's Super Thesaurus; any of the hundreds of books on the writing craft (including my personal favorite, the Inspiration for Writers Tips and Techniques Workbook II, shown below).

 

The Inspiration for Writers Tips and Techniques Workbook II: You asked for it, and we now have a limited number of copies of the new and greatly expanded Workbook II, available in hard copy for $45 (discounted from regular price of $60; includes shipping within the US; email for rates outside the US). This updated version has over 50% more content than our first edition, and, instead of the five worksheets, it has nine worksheets. We also have the Tips and Techniques Workbook II ebook for $15 (discounted from the regular price of $20). These are both hot off the press and not yet on our website, so to order, email me at IFWeditors@gmail.com.

 
The Gift of Confidence: Give the writer you love something truly special this year--a gift certificate for writing, editing, evaluation or coaching services. This is one way you can show your support--and confidence in--the dreams of the writer in your life. Gift certificates are available for any dollar amount, and, if you order before December 21, we'll give you a 10% discount. For example, if you order a $50 gift certificate, we will invoice you for $45. To purchase a gift certificate good for any of our services, email me at IFWeditors@gmail.com with your name, the name of the recipient, and the total dollar amount you want. I'll send you out an invoice for the discounted amount. We can email these certificates, so there's no shipping time involved (If you want a paper copy, we can do that, too).


Something fun: like this Warning Sign found at Amazon.com, or "Novel Teas," containing 25 teabags individually tagged with literary quotes from the world over, made with the finest English Breakfast tea. Or a fun pendant, found at dhgate.com. Or a glossy copy of The Writer's Prayer (Free! Just email me and ask for one). Or my favorite gift for any occasion--chocolate. Or wine. Or chocolate and wine. *sigh* Is it Friday yet?

Something exotic: Like original cover art by IFW editor and ghostwriter Charlotte Firbank-King. (See more of her art at that link.) Besides being a prolific author of 14 books, she's an acclaimed South African wildlife artist. Her paintings have been sold and exhibited throughout the world and have been commissioned by the Johannesburg Zoo, the Witwatersrand National Botanical Gardens and the Zulu Schools Trust, among others. See her available prints and note cards at http://www.charlottefk.com/, or email her to inquire about how she can illustrate your book or cover for you.




One (or more) of these excellent books written by our editors and writers:  

The Savage Murder of Skylar Neese by Daleen Berry and Geoffrey Cameron Fuller This New York Times bestseller is a true crime nonfiction about the 2012 stabbing murder of high school honors student Skylar Neese by her two “best friends.” Amazon.com Kindle: $7.99

Pretty Little Killers by Daleen Berry and Geoffrey Cameron Fuller. A new and expanded account of the 2012 stabbing murder of high school honors student Skylar Neese by her two “best friends,” with fascinating new details and accounts of their trials. Paperback $13.40 and Kindle $9.99 at Amazon.com. Audiobook also available from Audible, Inc.

Full Bone Moon by Geoffrey Cameron Fuller A killer is loose in West Virginia. This crime thriller was inspired by the 1970 coed murders in the Morgantown, WV area. Available at http://www.woodlandpress.com/book/fiction/full-bone-moon for $21.99.

 




Broken Umbrellas by Emma Broch Stuart. The author shares her passion for seeing women and men released from bondage and healed from relational wounds in this new nonfiction. $13.63 at Amazon.com.

 
The Windkeeper by Emma Broch Stuart. Turn the pages of this children's book and discover Wendall Windkeeper’s purpose as he trains the four winds of heaven for their role in fulfilling God’s greatest rescue mission—the birth of His Son. Available for $8.99 at Amazon.com.

 

Blood Kin and Other Strangers by Patsy Pittman is a collection of short stories that deals with family dynamics in all its complexities. The book is $20, and may be purchased at Amazon.com or directly from Patsy at patsypittman@suddenlink.net.
 
Pocket Change is Patsy Pittman's collection of true inspirational articles about her life experiences, people she has known, and the lessons she's learned from them. The book's theme is "Our days on earth--days, months, years--is but pocket change. Yet, spend it well, because no one owns tomorrow." Pocket Change sells for $15 at Amazon.com or directly from Patsy.

A Consternation of Monsters, stories by Eric Fritzius.  This is a collection of chilling modern fantasy stories in the tradition of the Twilight Zone.  It's only $12.99 for print and $2.99 for ebook, available at a number of online retailers including Amazon.  Want a taste?  You can hear free podcast adaptations of some of the stories at Eric's website and via iTunes.


That's our list. What gifts do you, as a writer, want most? What gifts do you suggest for other writers? Leave a comment below, and we'll give a complimentary copy of our brand new Inspiration for Writers Tips and Techniques Workbook II ebook to one lucky commenter. I'd offer chocolate, but I can't find it. Go figure. Thanks for visiting our blog!

Writing, Not Writing

by

Jessica Nelson



It’s that time of the year when everything gets hectic beyond belief. There’s barely a moment to catch your breath, let alone sit down and get some good writing done. It gets harder and harder to follow that timeless advice that all writers get:

Write every day.

Every time I hear that, I feel guilty, because I don’t write every day. The guilt gets even worse during November when other people are kicking out entire novels for NaNoWriMo.

So today I’m pulling a page out of Rhonda Browning White’s book. Last week she wrote a blog entitled “The Hiatus: Taking a Break from Writing” on her personal blog. That post inspired this one, because she made an excellent point: writers are always writing.

This idea that a writer is always writing in their heads is what I have deemed “writing, not writing.” It’s a little like “sorry, not sorry” which is what you say/feel when you should be sorry for something but you really aren’t.

“Writing, not writing” is two-fold. On the one hand, it describes when we should be writing, but we aren’t. On the other, it describes when a writer is writing, though they may not be physically typing on a computer or putting pen to paper.

I am notorious for “writing, not writing.” It feels like I rarely get anything written down. But I find there’s a certain freedom in “writing, not writing.” I’m the kind of writer who likes to get it right the first time I put it on paper. I get attached to my words, and it pains me to do deletions and rewrites. So when I write something that I don’t really like, I feel as if I’ve wasted valuable writing time, which isn’t something I get very often.

But when I’m “writing, not writing” in my head, I can redo the scene a hundred times over, trying every permutation of action and dialogue, perfecting every little detail—and I’m not wasting time. Well, okay, so maybe I waste a little time. But it is totally worth it.

I’d like to say something really important—especially to all the writers who get crazy busy: it’s okay if you don’t write every day.

Let me say that again.

It’s okay if you don’t write every day.

Do a little “writing, not writing” instead. It’s still productive, and it still exercises those creative muscles. You can do it anytime, anywhere. Even while you’re fixing a holiday meal. (Just be careful not to burn anything.)

Tell us your favorite way/place to do “writing, not writing” in the comments!

Writer Cocktail

by

Charlotte Firbank-King

Writers are a cocktail of madness. We’re psychotic, bent on killing those we love with as much impunity as those we hate. We wallow in death, misery, and general mayhem. Couple that with being pathological liars and master manipulators, then top it off with a dash of perpetual fried-brain and, oh, did I mention that we also have scant regard for laws and rules—of the English language or of social etiquette, that is. We fabricate words and foist them on unsuspecting readers who can’t even refer to a dictionary or Google to find out what the words mean. So that also makes us narcissistic deceivers. But we really don’t care as long as what we write is believable—and even that isn’t a given—we don’t care if it isn’t believable, because we will turn the reader into a believer.

Writers are a lone species of Homo sapiens. Okay, maybe we aren’t actually human.

Alice was an amateur when it comes to disappearing down rabbit holes. We probably shouldn’t marry and should definitely be neutered. The truth is, there’s no room in a writer’s life for anything except the characters we live through vicariously. But we gird our loins and periodically return to real-life like a meteorite hitting Earth. Our family will re-introduce themselves as we try not to call them by our characters’ names or warn them of some impending disaster that’s about to ruin their lives—note to self—that’s your daughter, idiot, not the character.

When we’re on a roll, we writers have this odd habit of ignoring dress code. We leap out of bed with ideas fermenting in our deranged, but very fertile brains, and head for the laptop or pen and paper. The only thing we may do en route is switch on the coffee machine. Five hours later, we’re surrounded by books, along with empty and full coffee cups ranging from cold to hot, and we’re still in our pajamas. We happily beat away on the PC, birthing new characters or killing off others in the most inventive ways. We transport ourselves to a thousand years back or a thousand years ahead. We go to countries and planets never heard of—we live in the realm of the impossible made possible through words. Sigh. What a divine place we live in.

Writers will discuss their characters as if they are real, and to us, they very much are. A conversation between writers could go like this:

Writer 1: “I don’t know what to do about Joe. He wants to head the narc operation, but he’s not ready and he’s too weak.”

Writer 2 understands completely and gives a sage nod: “I agree, he’s spineless. Kill him off.”

Writer 1 runs fingers distractedly through tousled hair and bites lip: “He wasn’t supposed to be a wimp—he’s the damn hero.”

Writer 2 sighs: “I know. It’s a pain in the arse when they won’t behave. My Mary was supposed to be the wilting damsel in distress, and now the slag is taking control. I might have to shoot her. I tried to get Mark to do it, but he’s not cooperating because the stupid sod thinks he’s in love with her.”

If non-writers happen to overhear this rather bizarre conversation, they may think they’ve landed in some sort of twilight zone. And they have—that’s where writers live.

Writers have long since learned to ignore certain responses to questions people ask. Usually starting with, “What do you do?”

“I write.”

“Wow, I’ve never met a writer.” Their brow furrows as they process the information. “Is that a real job?”

“Eh? It isn’t a job!”

“Oh.” Eyebrows rise. “Then how do you make a living?”

“What? Damn, dude, that question is so not relevant.”

Confusion reigns. “Not relevant?”

The person will get a long, direct look as we size them up—how will they fit into the next novel? That one predatory look usually has them backing off nervously, especially when you mutter that they would be a good fit for the villain you need to kill off in the next book. Some people don’t back down, but rush in and tell us about their lives or a friend’s life. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

People need to understand that writers don’t operate in the same realm as say, a stockbroker, but we sure can write about one.

If one unobtrusively observes a writer, one may see them making faces or speaking to themselves in odd voices. Even getting themselves into weird physical positions. Writers are known for doing crazy things like crawling into a snake pit just to see how it feels—maybe that’s a little extreme, but they may sit at the bottom of a pool to see what it’s like to drown. Writers will certainly cut themselves to see what blood tastes or smells like. All experiments are toward one end—instilling realism into a story.

If you find a person watching you intently at an airport, shopping mall, or any public place, it may not be a psychotic stalker—not that there’s much difference—but it’s probably a writer, especially if he is making notes on any available scrap of paper. Cause a scene and make his day.

Writers will buy books worth hundreds of dollars for one paragraph of information. The books will probably sit on a shelf for the rest of the writer’s life. We don’t part with books—ever, especially reference books. You’d have to kill us first.

The moral of this convoluted discourse is: don’t become a writer if you value your sanity.

Book Launch Party 101

by

Wendy Chorot



So, you’ve published a book and are looking for ways to promote it. My absolute favorite marketing tool is to host a Facebook launch party. After Broken Umbrellas released, I scoured the Internet and read blog posts and tip sheets on hosting a successful launch party. Then I decided to ignore just about everything and start from scratch! I made the party what I wanted the party to be. The most important thing I learned is that guests like party favors and they love to talk about themselves! My launch party consisted of an hourly question, giving guests an hour to respond, with a drawing—and cool giveaways!—at the end of every hour. If a guest commented, he or she was entered for that hour’s drawing. It was crazy busy for me, but so worth it. And I didn’t hesitate to follow the same format for The Windkeeper’s launch party.

Because my Facebook parties don’t look like anyone else’s, I thought I would share some tips on what works for me.

1) Date and Time: Most launch party tips I read said to have the party for just a few hours. I have many friends scattered over several time zones and wanted to be inclusive, because the party was about them, not me. I put my guests first, above my own comfort. I adopted a “no guest left behind” policy. My party covered seventeen hours and seven countries were represented. Which is huge in my opinion!

So, to be a present and active hostess for seventeen hours, I had to plan child care and meals. I took everything off my agenda the day before, the day of, and the day after. And I planned everything beforehand, right down to writing out winner announcements so I only had to copy and paste and fill in the name of the winner.

2) Invite and Remind: I created the event one week prior to the launch. And I made sure to post something every day for that week to keep folks interested, to make them look forward to coming.

3) Launch Party Team: I emailed a few friends (who from experience have bubbly personalities) and asked them to be on my launch party team. I asked them to post if they saw others hesitating. I asked them to draw guests in and just “work the party” like it was a real party (filling drinks, engaging conversations, etc.). I made sure to ask friends from every time zone so the entire party was covered. I did not expect team members to stick it out to the bitter end, but they agreed to check the party as often as possible and post as often as possible.

I made bracelets for each team member and sent those out after the party. A thank you gift speaks volumes.

Ask someone on the team to be “tech support.” During the launch party for Broken Umbrellas, my tech support gal private messaged me several times with tech updates like how the party looked on a mobile. This person also checked Amazon rankings for the book. And I sent this person to find a guest who was having trouble understanding the party.

4) Plan Every Detail Ahead of Time: I created every post before the party so I only had to copy and paste into the party. That helped the party run smoothly and ensured I was never late for a “top of the hour” post. My posts were a mix of fun, ice breaker questions and lots that were relevant to the book. I asked people to share the middle names of their children, and this was my way of letting everyone know Emma Broch Stuart is my writing penname and also the middle names of my children. This post was the most commented on.

I also matched party favors with posts, like asking everyone what their favorite jelly belly flavor is. The winner, of course, won a bag of jelly bellies.

5) Don’t Forget the Publisher: One of my posts sent guests to go to the publisher’s website (I prepared the link in advance to copy and paste) and asked them to browse the titles and share which one appealed to them most. Awesome advertising for the publisher.

6) Party favors: Several things ensure a successful launch party, like fun, interactive posts that arrive hourly (always moving), but party favors make or break a successful launch party.

Spreadsheets come in super handy. I made a spreadsheet with each hour’s question listed, its corresponding party favor, and the winner with a column to check when they received their gift.

So, it sounds expensive to give away a party favor every hour (I also gave away 4 gift sets at the end of the party). It really wasn’t that expensive! The first thing I did was approach authors willing to donate copies of their books, and most of my volunteer authors offered signed copies. To give them due credit, I prepared my announcements ahead of time that included links to the book for other guests to see, as well as a link to that author’s bio. This gave them some publicity, and they even offered to mail directly to the winner, so I had no costs whatsoever.

After filling in those donated books on my party favor spreadsheet, I then started filling in holes. I matched party favors to the post title, like giving jelly bellies to the jelly belly post winner.

Every party favor was already decided and matched to the post before the party even started. I filled in holes even more with free copies of my books.

Find people who are willing to donate party favors in exchange for the publicity. Be sure to give them that publicity, offering links to their services for your guests to click on.

Start stocking up on sale items that would make great party favors.

7) Networking/Marketing: In addition to each post having a winner, I created four networking/marketing opportunities and made up gift sets to correspond with each for my final drawings. I tempted/reminded folks the week prior and also throughout the party, giving them sneak peeks and telling them how they could be entered for each drawing. I reserved the four gift sets for people who “liked” my author page; invited friends to my party; posted a link to Amazon on their Facebook wall; and follow me on Amazon. Other ideas would be to do a special gift set drawing for guests who post a picture of themselves holding your book or whoever participated the most during the party.

8) Think Ahead: Use one post as a question and answer, allowing guests to ask you questions. Save all questions and answers to use later for a blog tour.

9) Don’t Panic: If the guests take off with the party and leave you in the dust, just sit back and let them do their thing! Many people told me later that they made new Facebook friends because of my party. That is such a testimony to the power of community and fellowship!

10) Post-Party To-Dos: Allow yourself the day after the party for friending strangers who came to the party. Go back through the posts and comment on anything you missed during the party. Facebook keeps the party up for quite a while. Don’t be afraid to give yourself time to prepare the party favors so you can add extra touches like a thank you note/card, ribbon around a book, etc. before shipping them out.

11) It’s Your Party: Tailor your party so that it is comfortable for you. If all of this seems overwhelming, pull team members in to help with posts and drawings, or whatever, to free you up for what you feel like you can do. Definitely arrange child care as well as someone to do the meals so you can focus solely on the party and your guests, answering questions, giving them links to your book, and adopting a “no guest left behind” policy.

It really takes a village sometimes. Don’t be afraid to delegate.

A 17-hour party isn’t for everyone (I know, only me, eh?). I’ve read that peak times for Facebook activity are 10 a.m. and 9 p.m. Covering just one of those times would generate a lot more participation.

12) And my last piece of advice is to PRAY! Pray for everything, for the guests, for the lurkers, for God to match each winner to the prize He wants for them. And if you pray for that, then don’t cheat on the drawings! Even if it means one person wins multiple times.


I’ll be hosting several more launch parties in the future. To see one in action, “like” my author page and you’ll automatically get an invite.


About Wendy Chorot:

Wendy Chorot writes under the penname Emma Broch Stuart, and she has hosted two launch parties—one for her non-fiction book Broken Umbrellas and her children’s book The Windkeeper.

If you would like to be entered to win a copy of her latest book, The Windkeeper, comment here and tell us which launch party tip you liked best.

Book Festival, NaNoWriMo, Oh My!





by

Sandy Tritt

 

 

Who enjoyed the West Virginia Book Festival? We did, for sure. We—our team at Inspiration for Writers, Inc., which included author/editor Emma Broch Stuart, editor Jennifer Jett, editor Stacy Tritt, webmaster (and more) Eric Fritzius, grammar guru Wilma Acree, and I—loved meeting so many readers and writers. We talked and we gave away prizes and we talked some more.

Rhonda Castle was the happy winner of the grand prize—a basket of lots of IFW goodies, including our brand new Tips and Techniques Workbook II and a gift certificate for $200.

 

 

Besides giving out lots of prizes, we had fun chatting with writers. In the next photo, Tom “Bond” chats with editor Jennifer Jett.

 

 

Check out our Facebook page for more photos and more winners. Sure hope you can join us next time.


Oh, and since November is going to arrive before our next blog article, we want to remind you that November is, as always, National Novel Writing Month (go to NaNoWriMo.org for more info). Karel Havel of Canada was kind enough to share with us his NaNoWriMo Excel chart that helps him organize and accomplish his goals. If you’d like a copy of this chart, just comment below or email me at IFWeditors@gmail.com.

If you went to the WV Book Festival, please let us know your thoughts in the comments below, and if you plan to participate in NaNoWriMo, please let us know that, too. We enjoy hearing from you!
 

Join Us at the WV Book Festival

by

Sandy Tritt

Exciting news for those of you in the West Virginia/Ohio/Kentucky area—the 2015 West Virginia Book Festival is back! An exciting line-up of authors includes Homer Hickman (October Sky, Rocket Boys), Neil Gaiman (American Gods, Coraline, The Graveyard Book), Jodi Picoult (Songs of the Humpback Whale, Harvesting the Heart, Picture Perfect, My Sister's Keeper) and so many more. Go to http://www.wvbookfestival.org/ to see the line-up.

Inspiration for Writers, Inc., will have a booth at the festival, so if you’d like to meet some of our editors and staff, please be sure to stop by. We’ll be in the center aisle right next to West Virginia Writers, Inc. We have lots of freebies—pens, spiral notepads, whiteboards, sticky notepads, tote bags, Writing Wrongs cards, Comma Usage cards, glossy copies of “The Writer’s Prayer,” and more to share with our visitors, and some of our editors will bring books for sale. We will also debut our new, improved, 50% larger Inspiration for Writers’ Tips and Techniques Workbook. Oh, and door prizes. We’ll be giving away a special prize every hour, including a gift basket with a copy of our workbook, lots of goodies, and a gift certificate for $200 good toward any editing or writing service. But, mostly, we’d just love to chat with you and answer your writing questions in person.

Admission is free, and the festival will be in the Charleston Civic Center. Kickoff is Friday, October 23, 2015, with a writing workshop by authors Cat Pleska and Fran Simone from 10 a.m. until noon. The marketplace, where we will be, is open from 1–5 p.m. on Friday. On Saturday, October 24, the used book sale starts at 8 (be there early for the best bargains!) and the marketplace will be open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

The Charleston Civic Center is located at 200 Civic Center Drive in Charleston, WV 25301. For directions, go to http://www.charlestonwvciviccenter.com/directions.aspx.

We look forward to chatting with you. See you there!

Humbling Homonyms Part 1

by

Wilma Acree

As an avid reader, I sometimes chuckle and often cringe at errors I see in print. Just this morning, I cringed when I read this headline: 22 Dear Killed in North Hills Hunt. Yes, I am sure those deer were dear to others in their herd, but really!

If you are confused about dear/deer, make up some nonsensical rules to retain the meanings. For example, you might want to lean your ear against someone dear, but you would not do so to a wild animal (deer).

Other misuses I’ve encountered lately are shoo/shoe and waste/waist.

To shoo means to drive away. A shoe is something that covers your foot. Imagine my mental images when a writer wrote about “shoeing a fly.” An image of a fly wearing four tiny red shoes flitted across my mental screen. If only I could draw that . . . Alas, my artistic skills are nil.

If waste/waist gives you trouble, associate waste with the proverb: Haste makes waste. Or use the sentence: If I eat the food my children waste, my waist will increase. Imagine a thin person scraping plates over a waste can versus a person of increasing girth eating food from several plates.

Spell checkers or even grammar checkers will not catch homonym errors. You must rely upon your own brain, a language expert, or a trained editor. Better still, all three! None of us are infallible, but publishing a novel or even an article with homophone errors decreases your credibility and makes your reader wonder about your reliability.

Gawking Characters

by

Jessica Murphy

A "gawking character" is a narrator who tells the reader what happens in a scene instead of letting the reader experience it directly. This is called narrator intrusion, and it robs the reader of the full experience, thus distancing him from the story. A gawking character looks like this:

Gawking: Adam saw the orange glow and the rolling black smoke in the sky from where he stood on the corner of the block. As he jogged down the sidewalk toward it, he felt a cool breeze and smelled burning wood. He ducked under the branch of a tree and saw the burning house. From where he stood, he felt the intense heat and heard the flames roar and pop. Adam stepped forward toward the open front door but felt the searing heat from the sidewalk that drove him back.

The bold words show you where the narrator steps between the reader and the action and tells the reader what happens. This detracts from the reader’s experience. A scene must allow the reader to experience the action directly in order to grab him. Would you prefer to watch a friend eat a hot fudge sundae and tell you how sweet it tastes, or would you want to eat it yourself?

A gawking character is also redundant. If the scene is told from the character's perspective, we already know that he experiences what we read. We don't need to say the same thing twice. Here is the same sentence without the gawking character:

Direct: Adam glanced up from the corner of Kingwood and Beechurst. The starlit sky glowed orange, and thick smoke rolled across it. He spun on one heel, crunching grit on the sidewalk beneath his shoes, and ran down the street. The cool autumn breeze carried sparks and the smell the burning wood. As Adam brushed the branches of a tree out of his face, the burning house appeared.

A rushing roar filled Adam’s ears, and a wave of heat lifted the hairs on his tan arms. Shading his blue eyes with his right hand, he squinted against the blinding light. Flames engulfed every inch of the house and licked at the cloudless sky. Pops and crackles from inside the house echoed down the empty street. Adam rushed toward the front porch, but the heat seared his face and drove him back.

This time, the narrator does not water down the scene. We see no "Adam felt," "Adam saw," "Adam heard." Instead, the reader is the one standing on the sidewalk, the one who sees the flames, feels their heat, hears their roar. This kind of direct experience captivates the reader and keeps him interested.

Nonphysical Gawking

A gawking character can also filter internal experiences, such as thoughts or emotions. Again, if the scene is being told from the character's perspective, we can assume that any thoughts belong to that character (unless he or she can read thoughts or sense emotions).

Gawking: Blood soaked through the fabric, and Preston realized he had plunged the blade into Jack’s side.
This scene is told from Preston’s point of view, so he must be the one realizing something. We don’t need to state the obvious.

Direct: A red stain spread across Jack's gut, matting the shirt to his skin. The silver blade glinted from where Preston had plunged it in Jack’s side.

The same holds true for emotions:

Gawking: I felt worried, but a breeze made me feel a little better.

This is told in first person point of view, so the narrator must be the one who felt worried. After all, he cannot feel another character’s emotions. So, stating what the narrator felt is redundant.

Direct: My stomach churned, but the crisp air cooled my feverish skin and the nausea settled for the moment.

If you take out the gawking character, the reader can experience every scene directly. Any less cheats him out of the story and, in the end, loses him.

Writing with Newborn Eyes

 

by

Sandy Tritt

I was recently blessed with a new grandson. On his first day home, I took him around my daughter’s townhouse, showing him the sunbathing cats, dinner simmering on the stove, and the view from the patio doors. In doing so, I saw a few things I hadn’t noticed before. Like the way the geese rotated positions while paddling around the lake or the way Sam the Cat tilted his head to take in the spectacle of a tiny, squeaky person.

Cradling a newborn brought memories of my own babies. I remembered how surprised my daughter was when a light rain fell and tickled her nose. We lifted our faces to the sky and allowed the warm drops to trickle over our skin. On another day, she noticed spring buds bursting from the barren branches. We stopped and touched them, smelled them, explored them. I experienced my tired old world through new eyes.

Years ago, before the advent of GPS or cell phones, I was driving back to college. One of my classmates lived along the way, and I had offered her a ride. I followed her directions, yet when I got to where I thought she lived, I didn’t see her house. During my fourth pass, my friend ran out from between trees. I stopped, and it was then I noticed the red door of a house cut into the hillside, hidden by trees. When she was in the car, I asked why she hadn’t mentioned the house was cut into the hillside and hidden by trees. She looked surprised. “Well,” she said, “I guess I’ve lived there all my life and just never paid any attention.”

But that’s exactly what writers must do. We must pay attention to details. We’ve been told to “write what we know,” but sometimes “what we know” is too familiar. We don’t experience the buds and the rain—nor do we see the trees and hills. We take common smells, sights, sounds, tastes, and touches for granted—and we often do the same for the world we’ve created for our characters. To avoid doing this, we must learn to experience our surroundings with all our senses. Touch grass and notice the texture. Smell it. Taste it. Explore food. What type of smell does it have? Does it make any sounds?  How does it taste on first bite? After chewing? How does it feel to our tongues? Train yourself to notice the details of your everyday world so when you sit down to write, you can pull from those experiences and provide more insight into your characters’ worlds.

If you want to improve your writing, write through newborn eyes.

Guilty!

by

Charlotte Firbank-King



As a new or accomplished writer, what are you guilty of?

Are you guilty of being arrogant? Is your reader the enemy you’re writing at because you really need to put your brilliant prose on paper? Of course, ninety-nine point nine percent of readers are about as bright as an amoeba on a bad cell day, so your genius is totally wasted. But this is about you and your obsession to write. Right? —WRONG.

Are you guilty of being clever? You use words, scientific or otherwise, that have readers paging through a dictionary like a chipmunk on crack to understand what the heck you’re talking about. For example: Cavernulous – just say porous already. Otherwise, you’ve killed the flow and probably the reader’s enthusiasm to read your story.

Are you guilty of gimmick writing? You write everything in the present tense because it suits your literary genius. Or you exclude a word you hate from the entire manuscript, like that, said or had. I’m all for cutting down on these words, but sometimes they’re needed. Do you omit punctuation or new paragraphs, or remove dialogue all together and just narrate? It can work, but you have to be inventive to hold the reader’s interest. There are many versions of artifices that only stroke the author’s ego and cause the reader to tear out his hair. All you do is make the experience of reading your story uncomfortable. You put a barrier between the reader and the story until all they see is the author intruding into their pleasure of the story.

At the end of the day, you need to ask yourself if you value your reader. Do you really want your reader scratching his head, paging back to try to understand what you’re saying, or skipping paragraphs that are annoying? Is your aim to make him think about the deep meaning of your story, or to make your reader feel dense?

A reader may not remember all the details of a story, but he will always remember how you made him feel. Readers want to laugh, cry, hold their breaths, or sigh with relief. Are you guilty of not evoking any of these emotions?

Are you guilty of telling the reader a character is being funny or sarcastic? Like, writing, “she teased lightly,” or “his words dripped with sarcasm.” Make your writing speak with actions, emotions, and dialogue.

Are you guilty of swamping the reader with details that don’t add to the story or of repeating information in case he “didn’t get it” the first time round? Giving readers every detail of what characters are doing is tiresome. Readers are smart. They will fill in details like characters needing to put on shoes and a jacket and fetching an umbrella before going into a howling rain storm. It’s okay for them to just shrug into a jacket and go—have them flick open the umbrella as they walk out. In short, don’t make shopping lists of actions and don’t give readers every detail from the socks to the hat to the brushing of his teeth.

Are you guilty of not editing, editing, and editing multiple times before sending the manuscript to an editor or launching it on Amazon? Can you be sure there are no plot flaws, typos, or grammatical errors? Show respect for your reader—and editor, for that matter, and EDIT, over and over before releasing the manuscript.

Are you guilty of creating too many coincidences to make your plot work? Every action and scene that leads to the climax must be believable. If a character says, “I can’t believe that happened!” the reader will probably be thinking me neither. If it’s improbable, set it up ahead of time. She fell off the mountain and a piton caught her jacket, saving her. Show us the piton long before it catches on her jacket—set it up, make it feel probable.

Are you guilty of throwing readers constant curveballs, then leaving then hanging while you move on to another scene? You can get away with this once, but not in every chapter. They want to know if the gun fired at the character killed them or not—and they want to know in this chapter. They don’t want to wait three chapters to find out, while the second character is hanging from a cliff by their jacket in the next chapter. It’s all about seamless flow—making it a great reading experience.

Are you guilty of misleading the reader with a “hook” in the first paragraph of the first chapter that doesn’t fit the plot? Your story is a thriller and the lead characters are making out in a park while their children play on the swings. Sonny Jim disappears and a frantic hunt ensues. If your book is about kidnapping or some other dark plot about kids being snatched, then you have the right hook. But if these characters never again show up in the book and your story is actually about an affair at an office, you’ve got the wrong hook.

Readers are not reading the story to admire your literary genius—they want to be entertained. It’s all about them and what they want and need. After all, they PAID for the book.

Above all, clothe yourself in humility. Realize that as a writer you are nothing more than a servant applying your skill to please your master—the reader.

Picture a world where you’re surrounded by people who can’t read. Would you still write?

Some pearls of wisdom:

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.

--Oscar Wilde

It's the rare writer who excels at all aspects of the craft. There are masterful stylists who, at bottom, have remarkably little to say. And there are vigorous thinkers whose sentences plod along like the lumbering steps of a draft horse.

 --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

--William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 

Prepositional Preponderance

by

Sandy Tritt

As writers and editors, we continually study the language and find ways, both new and old, to write better. One way we can make our writing sharper is to limit the number of prepositions we use. Now, that is not to say prepositions are bad. They are not. We need them. They often give us additional information such as where something takes place or how something happens. But what is bad is when a sentence is so full of prepositions that we need a road map to find our way through it.

First, it’s important to identify prepositions. Somewhere during the middle years of our education, we memorized a huge list of prepositions. To help jar that memory, here’s a short list of the more popular prepositions:

about above   across after around as at before beside between by concerning

down during   except for from in into like near of off on

over since   than through to toward under until up upon with within

For a full list, you can visit one of the many websites devoted to this topic, such as https://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions-list.htm or https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_English_prepositions. Do be aware: just because a word appears on the list does not mean it is always a preposition. Some words (such as “but”) sometimes act like prepositions and sometimes act like a different part of speech, such as a conjunction. So, it’s important not to memorize the list, but to recognize prepositions because of the way they behave. How do they behave, you ask? They add information. They tell us where or when or how.

A prepositional phrase is a phrase that begins with a preposition and includes the added detail that follows it. The detail usually comes in the form of a noun, pronoun, or gerund. Sometimes an adjective or other modifier will modify the noun. So, a prepositional phrase looks like this: at the store; before the storm; until it rains; while the sun is shining.

So, let’s get to how using prepositions—or, more specifically, NOT using prepositions—can make your writing sharper. As an editor, we are trained to keep our eyes open for anything that sucks the power out of prose. If you’ve looked over the tip sheets available on our website, you’ll know we preach against the overuse of a lot of things—adjectives, adverbs, ellipses, em-dashes, exclamation marks, italics, unnecessary words, etc., etc. One thing—at least, as of this date—we haven’t complained about is the preponderance of prepositions. But recently I’ve noticed overuse of prepositions in both fiction and nonfiction. And overusing prepositions creates long, boring sentences. Take this one, for example:

I sat at the pool at Stacy’s house under the umbrella with red stripes with Sherry from Grantsville until the clock beneath the awning of the clubhouse showed dinnertime.

Yuck! Just for fun, how many prepositions can you find in that sentence? Go ahead and count them. Here’s what I found: at, at, under, with, with, from, until, beneath, of. Nine!

So, how can we write this better? First, we look for ownership. How many times did we use a prepositional phrase instead of using a possessive? I’m seeing three times. If the pool is at Stacy’s house, we can probably assume it’s Stacy’s pool. So, we can cut at Stacy’s house and make this Stacy’s pool. If we’re under the umbrella with red stripes, why can’t we just say the red-striped umbrella? Another preposition cut. And then there’s always that pesky of. Of is unnecessary when it’s used to show ownership, such as in this case. So, we can quickly ditch it by changing the awning of the clubhouse to the clubhouse awning. We’ve cut three prepositions and now have:

I sat at Stacy’s pool under the red-striped umbrella with Sherry from Grantsville until the clock beneath the clubhouse awning showed dinnertime.

Second, we look for unnecessary details. Does it matter where the clock is located? Unless this has something to do with the story, it most likely does not. What is important is the time the clock shows, not where the clock resides. So, let’s cut beneath the clubhouse awning (or the original, beneath the awning of the clubhouse). And, really, do we need to involve the clock at all? It’s only the time that matters, not the clock. So, let’s cut the clock. Does it matter where Sherry is from? This one is tough to tell when a sentence is pulled out of context. But, more than likely, we don’t need that information.

Our sentence now looks like this:

I sat at Stacy’s pool under the red-striped umbrella with Sherry until dinnertime.

That brings us down to four prepositions: at, under, with, until.

Can we do better? Of course! If we’re with Sherry, why don’t we say, Sherry and I?

Sherry and I sat at Stacy’s pool under the red-striped umbrella until dinnertime.

Those are about all the easy fixes, and we’re down to three prepositions. According to some style guides and other advisors of good writing, we should never have more than two prepositions in a sentence (count how many prepositions are in this sentence). So, let’s see if we can cut one more. Reading this sentence, the prepositional phrase that still bothers me the most is under the red-striped umbrella. The first thing we can do is consider if this is needed information or not. If not, we can simply cut it. But if we need this information, we’ll need to rearrange the sentence. Note that rearranging can result in sentences with stronger verbs—a side-effect we can celebrate.

The red-striped umbrella shaded the pool where Sherry and I sat until dinnertime.

Wow! We’ve come a long way from our awkward original sentence. I’d still like to play with it and be more creative like saying “until the dinner bell rang” or something, but without knowing the context, it’s difficult to do those things. Still, we have a more precise sentence that’s easier on the eyes, the ears, and the brain.

Our goal in life should not be to rid ourselves of every preposition. Prepositions are essential. They provide the details and specifics we need to make sense of information. However, overusing prepositions is a serious problem and one we need to fix. We need to make it a habit to count the prepositions in our awkward sentences—and then find ways to get rid of as many as we can.

As with anything, practicing is what makes us better at identifying and finding replacements. I challenge you to:

1.      Count the prepositions in the example sentence, and

2.      Reduce the prepositions.

Put your response in a comment below, and we’ll send a set of “Comma Usage” and “Writing Wrongs” tip cards to a random commenter.

Here’s the sentence to stretch your patience—er, I mean, your writing skills:

Susan went to the dentist by the name of “Will Hurt” to have her tooth with decay pulled with forceps for extraction after she had a shot of Novocaine to anesthetize her gums around the tooth with pain.

(Hint: chronological order is a good habit).

SPECIAL LOOK: Out of the Ashes

 by

Sandi Rog

 



 

Last week, Charl revealed some of her early and not-so-great writing. This week, Sandi Rog addresses the flip-side of that post by giving us an excerpt from her recently published book, Out of the Ashes. The following post is taken (with permission) from Sandi’s blog Dare to Dream. You can find the original post and complete first chapter here.

The book opens with a note to my readers:

Dear Readers:

Had it not been for the Lord and the many thousands of people who prayed me through cancer, this book never would have been written. If you’re one of the people who prayed for me, thank you. Mere words aren’t enough to express my gratitude.

Having emerged back onto the writing scene after the two-year battle, and feeling rather beat up after the long fight, I needed something with a happy ending. Like a fairytale. Think Cinderella. That’s what this book is, something bright and cheerful. So, Out of the Ashes is a lighter read than my other books: The Master’s Wall, Yahshua’s Bridge, and even Walks Alone.

What a blessing it has been for me to have the strength to write Nathaniel and Amelia’s story. Thank you, precious readers, for walking with me as I dig my way out of the aftermath of this battle one step at a time. Or shall I say, one page at a time.

Blessings,

Sandi Rog


Book Jacket Description

A stranger. A kiss. A shotgun wedding.

NATHANIEL WARD, wealthy entrepreneur, needs a wife. But he’s not interested in the preening, high-society women who are offered to him on a silver platter. He wants one woman, and one woman alone: the girl who gave him all the money in her reticule years ago when the Great Chicago Fire left him destitute. He sets out to find this woman and discovers she’s unattached. There’s only one problem, a shotgun wedding may be able to bind them, but will he ever be able to win her heart?

AMELIA E. TAYLOR blows a kiss to a street rat. Little did she know, years later that kiss would follow her to Green Pines, Colorado. When a handsome stranger arrives in her hometown, she guards her heart from the stirrings this man ignites. Despite society’s disapproval of spinsterhood, she is determined not to marry, having witnessed first-hand the lack of love and horrors that accompany marriage. But will a shotgun wedding reveal blessings that arise out of the ashes?


Chapter One

Green Pines, Colorado, 1882

Gun smoke burned Amelia’s eyes and her ears still rang. She blinked the tears from her lashes.

“Do you, Nathaniel Ward,” the preacher scowled, “take Amelia Taylor to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Amelia’s father cocked his rifle and aimed it at the reluctant groom.

“I do,” Nathaniel said, his voice firm and unwavering. Despite her father’s threats, Nathaniel’s very presence exuded power, his raised chin, broad shoulders and wide chest unflinching against the barrel of the rifle.

Amelia didn’t dare look up at him. What must he be thinking? How many women had hoped to get him this far, and now, here she stood where most women dreamed of standing—shotgun wedding, or not. If only she could melt into the parlor’s wooden floor like the candle burning in the nearby lamp. Or disappear like the smoke. Disappear into nothingness, with no remnant left of her existence.

“Do you, Amelia Taylor, take Nathaniel Ward to be your lawfully wedded husband?” The preacher’s words rushed over Amelia like a gush of foul air.

She stood paralyzed, unable to speak. She’d vowed never to marry. How would she bear this cross? She’d seen enough loveless marriages in her life to know it wasn’t worth the heartache, despite the shame of spinsterhood. And now, to be forced on a man? What miseries awaited her? Abuse? Neglect? Slavery? Any man in his right mind would despise her for the rest of his days. It would be impossible—unthinkable—to procure his affection … his love.

The minister, still in his nightclothes, cleared his throat. His wife, holding up the lantern, glowered from behind him.

Amelia swallowed, darting a glance at her terrifying father. With a snarl, he narrowed his eyes at Nathaniel and pressed closer with his rifle. Would he put another hole in the preacher’s wall? Or Nathaniel’s chest?

“Amelia, girl.” Her father’s voice sent a shudder down her spine as it echoed through the quiet house. “You know, I always keep my word.” He’d threatened to kill Nathaniel if she refused to be his wife.

“I do,” she said, her voice small and trembling, quite the opposite of the man next to her. The horror, the shame. How did her life come to this?

“I now pronounce you man and wife.” The minister slammed his Bible shut and pointed it at her father. “Now get out!”

Shadows clouded Amelia’s vision, and her legs wobbled like those of a newborn calf. Her knees buckled, but rather than landing on the hard floor, she found herself caught in Nathaniel’s strong arms.

Now her husband.


You can find Out of the Ashes on Amazon and Sandi's other works here.