I Am Thankful for Mistakes

by Sherry Wilson

I am Thankful for Mistakes

This week as we give thanks for all of the wonderful things in our lives and celebrate with family and friends, I started to think about my writing life. More particularly about how my writing life might be improved—how all of our careers might be improved—by an attitude of gratitude.

Throughout school we learn to write, so by the time we graduate, we figure we have a pretty good idea of how to write. But do we really? The shift between school and a professional level of writing is like the difference between school band and a professional music career. In both cases, there is room to grow, to learn, to get better.

I think it's when we forget about this quest that things become more difficult for us as writers. We need to give ourselves permission to relax a little and enjoy the process. I mean, if you decided you wanted to play an instrument and you signed yourself up for piano lessons, you wouldn't expect to play like Glenn Gould next week—or even next year, for that matter. You would practice. You'd put in your hours. You wouldn't do it because you thought you'd be able to play like Glenn Gould. You'd do it for the fun of it. Because, while learning a new instrument is work, it's also fun. That's why we call it playing an instrument. But we expect much more of ourselves as beginning writers. We expect to write like Hemingway, or Bradbury, or Stephen King. But what we should do is just relax, play around with the words and the ideas, and make mistakes—lots and lots of mistakes. Try writing it one way and if you don't like the results, then try something else. Make the mistakes. Learn your strengths and your weaknesses. Find your own, unique voice.

We need to give ourselves the gift of allowing ourselves to make mistakes—without judgment. I mean, you don't judge every wrong note you play when you learn the saxophone. If you put yourself down every time you make a squeak, you'll never learn to play. Just notice the mistakes and keep going. Next time through, try writing it a different way. What works? What doesn't? Why? Do you see just how large this gift is? When you are able to separate yourself, the person, from the written work, you'll learn so much from those precious mistakes. And you can be thankful for the mistakes because they bring you so much closer to the writer you want to be.

In order to be a great writer, of course, or any writer at all, for that matter, we have to put in our time—pay our dues and practice. We have to sit our butts in our chairs and write. Like the cellist who will never get better without taking the time to play, the writer will never improve if he doesn't do the work. No amount of talking about being a writer or critiquing or reading will get you there. It's all about the hours in the chair. 

One good side effect of this, though—regular hours in the chair lets the muse know where and when to show up.

Besides spending the time writing, I've learned that when gratitude becomes a daily focus, amazing things start to happen. I've seen this in my own life over the past couple of years. So now I want to extend this to my writing career. But what do I mean? How do you do it?

• Make a list of the things you love about writing. Why do you do it? Why did you start writing? What makes you keep going? What parts do you absolutely love about the process?
• Pick three things that you are most thankful for in your writing life. What are the three best things about the act of writing?
• Write these three things on a piece of paper and tack it to your monitor where you will see it every day.
• Get a stone, ring, necklace or some other symbol that you can carry with you throughout the day. Every time you touch this object, think about how grateful you are for your writing career. Close your eyes for a moment and think about what makes you happy. Maybe it's that feeling when the words just pour out onto the page and you feel like they're coming from a different place—like you've tapped into something bigger than yourself. Imagine yourself writing, the words just flowing through you. Let yourself feel the euphoria. Experience it as if it were real and happening to you whenever you touch the object. Get into the habit of doing this several times a day. At best your writing will flow better. At worst, you will spend several minutes a day feeling truly happy and content with your life.

So what's it going to be? You can go through your writing journey feeling like you'll never get anywhere—you'll never be one of the greats—you'll never find that one right story when all the planets align and something like Harry Potter will fall into your lap or pop into your head while you're riding a train. You can count all the reasons you aren't as good as some famous writer. Or you can spend your time feeling good about all you've learned and the progress you've made. You can be happy that you had a good session yesterday and confident that you will again tomorrow. You can enjoy the process.

The top three things that I'm grateful for:

• All of my wonderful writing friends—those who critique my work, those who argue with me for hours over comma usage, and those who just let me vent when I'm having a bad day. Yes, these friends are any writer's greatest asset and I'm forever grateful for my writing buddies.
• Unfinished projects—even if my time is limited and I struggle to find time to work on my own projects, I'm so grateful they sit there waiting for me. My characters are so patient. They only occasionally wake me up during the night and prod me to get back to work.
• Those brief moments of flow when the words just pour out onto the page. It's as if the story is writing itself right in front of me. I cherish each moment and live for the next one.

Let's all give gratitude a try and see what happens. I don't know what will come of it, but what harm could it do? Let's spend the next year working on improving our attitude of gratitude and see where we are next year.  

Children's Books: The Art of Writing with Illustrations

by Charlotte Firbank-King

Storytelling is a passion, even obsession. It is deeply satisfying to captivate an audience with drama, pathos, violence, tranquility or fantasy—to be the master of imaginary characters. Above all, writers aim to please their readers (after listening to editors’ suggestions and working with them to succeed).

Unfortunately, this is not always true concerning book illustrations. Many authors seem to think that once the story is written, that’s it. They adopt a careless attitude, choosing an art style that only suits them. Art is subjective, so beware of falling into this mold.

Kids love color, yet we see illustrations in children’s books executed in quick pencil sketches. Why is that? The usual reason is simple. It’s cheaper to commission an artist to do pencil sketches rather than a complex work in acrylic, oils, pastel or gouache. Watercolors are also beautiful, especially when combined with ink. But with children, I want to stress that illustrations must have impact and instant appeal. Kids form a huge section of the reading audience. Even toddlers will roam bookshelves and choose what they want. It’s critically important to make sure the illustrations in your book stand out among millions of others.

Simplicity has its place, but as with brevity of words, the drawing must be brilliant in its economy. One does not get brilliant when the artist is paid little and required to dash off a dozen pictures. I urge writers of this genre to spend the extra money—or have fewer illustrations. Don’t sacrifice quality for quantity. A children’s book may be well written, but if the illustrations are mediocre or slapdash, the book will NOT sell well. In fact, illustrations are the “hook,” and then the story captivates, but the two must marry

Adults or young adults generally don’t want illustrations of what heroes or villains look like. They want to form their own picture. Small children, however, want to know what characters look like. Their imagination skills are still developing. But be very aware when deciding how the characters will be portrayed. Violence or overt evil should not be illustrated. Kids may have nightmares if that is the last thing they see before going to sleep. In short, be sensitive to young minds.

Here’s something else to think about. When a parent reads to a child, the child typically sits next to him or her, on the left or right. If the illustrations are sometimes on the left and sometimes on the right, the child is jumping up and down, running or crawling from one side to the other. But if the illustrations are always on the left or always on the right, the child gets to enjoy the illustrations without running back and forth.

When it’s impossible to pay the price for quality color illustrations, consider having the artist illustrate the story in pen (not a pencil sketch). The child can then color the pictures so he can choose how he wants his imaginary world to look. Coloring in is an abiding pleasure for kids and gives free-rein to their imaginations.

And finally, always test illustrations by showing them to kids before publishing—they will be your best and most honest critics.

(c) 2013 Charlotte Firbank-King. All Rights Reserved. 

Charlotte Firbank-King is a writer, editor, and artist. Her paintings have been sold and exhibited throughout the world and have been commissioned by the Johannesburg Zoo, the Witwatersrand National Botancial Gardens and the Zulu Schools Trust, among others. 

Beginnings

  By Rhonda Browning White

        

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” –Lewis Carroll, from Alice in Wonderland

            Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? If only that were the case! In truth, the beginning of any essay, story or memoir is often the most crucial part. It’s the part that causes a reader to decide whether to keep going, or to toss the book into a “not for me” pile and move on to the next one on the shelf. Fortunately, with a little work, you can write a strong beginning for your story that will hook a reader and keep her turning pages. Here’s how:

• Don't censor your first draft. The first draft of your story isn’t the time for revision. Let the ideas flow, let your characters chatter and discover themselves, explore the scenery around them, let the story surprise you. If it surprises you, chances are good it will surprise the reader, as well. There will be plenty of time for revision later.
• Once you have finished your first draft, study the ending. The ending of your story should be evident in the beginning. Now I don’t mean that you should ruin the plot by telling how the story ends on the first page, but there should be enough foreshadowing, enough intimation, and enough clues to intrigue and to create a feeling of satisfaction when the reader reaches the last page.
• Introduce tension on the first page. There must be yearning. What does your character want that she cannot have? Make sure your story raises important questions; the how, who, where, why and what of your plot. Create tension by introducing internal conflict (what’s happening inside the character’s mind) and external conflict (the big problem that is happening around them). By introducing tension early on, we motivate characters to act, and we motivate readers to keep reading.
• Set the scene. Tell us where we are in place and time. Let us see the location through the eyes of your main character. I don’t mean describe the color of the wallpaper, the style of the draperies, the method of upholstery and texture of carpeting—unless these play an important part in the plot of your story. When you describe a setting, describe it as your character might. For example, an architect might describe a horizon as a level foundation, while a tailor might describe it as a smooth seam.
• Introduce the character. Give us a sense of the character’s voice. Does he speak in lofty terms, or does he use colloquialisms? What does he look like? More importantly, how does he see the people and the world around him? Dig deep into your protagonist’s thoughts to reveal character and emotion.

If you’ve included each of these elements in your first scene—preferably on your first page—then you have a solid story beginning. You’ve asked questions that the reader will want answered. You’ve piqued interest. You’ve created a character that is anything but cliché. Congratulations! You’ve crafted an excellent beginning!  

It's NaNoWriMo Time Again!

(Image Courtesy of National Novel Writing Month)

by Sandy Tritt

This is NaNoWriMo—National Novel Writing Month. Every November, thousands of people from every walk of life join to make writing a novel a priority. They set the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel in thirty days—one month. It’s a lofty goal, but thousands succeed every year. And, not only do they succeed in writing 50,000 words, many of them succeed well beyond that. According to NaNoWriMo.org, over 250 NaNoWriMo novels have been traditionally published. Over two hundred and fifty! Some of these have become quite well known, such as Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants, Erin Morgenstern’s The Night Circus, Hugh Howey’s Wool, Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl, Jason Hough’s The Darwin Elevator, and Marissa Meyer’s Cinder).

I’m going to be honest with you. Although most of our editors at IFW have participated in NaNoWriMo at least once, I never have. But there must be something in the air in November, because this past Friday night—November 1—after my family was snoring away, I snuck out of bed and returned to my computer. I turned it on and started writing a fresh approach to a novel I’ve been trying to write for years. It was there—the muse was whispering in my ear and I suddenly knew the character’s voice, knew how I needed to start this story that’s been on the back burner for many years.

What about you? Are you participating in NaNoWriMo this year? Have you ever participated in the past? If you did, did you finish? Did you end up with a novel? Tell us about it.

And remember—when you’re ready to have your NaNoWriMo novel edited, we’re here, standing by.

The Most Important Sentence

by Charlotte Firbank-King

editor, writer, illustrator

The most important sentence you'll ever write is the first line of your book or novel. There's nothing easy about writing that first line—but many times, that line will decide if the reader will continue reading or not. Here's what that first line must do:

Hook the reader

Here is an example of an opening line—the hook:

The captain stood on the deck of his ship in torpid heat, slowly whipping his wife.

This was an example given to me years ago by a publisher, and I use it all the time. A number of things cause the reader to want to read on—things that hook them.

1) What era is it?

2) Torpid heat? Where is it happening?

3) Why is the captain whipping his wife? More curiously, why is he whipping her slowly?

The reader wants these things answered. They are almost compelled to read on. Hook your reader in one or two sentences. 

Hit the ground running

The first line is the most important part, next the first paragraph, then the first page, but having said that, if the first five pages aren't fantastic you will lose the reader. Most certainly, you will lose the publisher or agent. They’re very busy and can tell in the first paragraph if they want you or not. Then they are more convinced if the first page is great. However, that interest wanes rapidly if the second page doesn't deliver, but they will probably forge on for another page. After that, if you don’t continue to deliver, it’s all downhill and your manuscript ends up on the slush pile.

The opening paragraph doesn’t have to be a mother throwing her ten children into shark infested water—tempting as the thought might be when your brood is that big—but it does have to grab the reader’s attention and hold it.

Smaller hooks at the ends of chapters.

You want your reader to keep turning pages, so end each chapter with a hook that will drag them to the next one. After a gut-wrenching chapter the protagonist finally makes it to safety. You slow the pace, bring the reader down until they are ready to fall asleep and read another day. But then you drag them right back into the action. They must read on.

Emma sagged to the floor in lifeless air, safe at last. Then a door snicked open and icy fingers caressed her neck. End of chapter. A bit dramatic, but you get the picture. You could drag it out and switch to another character in the next chapter, but you might piss your reader off, so choose your moments with care.

Four examples of opening lines:

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed. (Stephen King, The Gunslinger.)

It was the best of times, it was the worst of time, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. (Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.)

They shot the white girl first. (Toni Morrison, Paradise.)

Lolita, the light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. (Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita.)

Examples of first paragraphs/lines from our editors

Our team of editors is immensely versatile and talented. The nature of their job requires them to work in different genres, which they do with amazing ease and skill. Although our editors can work in multiple genres, they can't work in every genre, which is why IFW needs editors versed in various genres. On a personal level, they each write in their preferred genre.

Sandy Tritt, short story, “Cousin Mary”:

What is the truth? And is the truth always more honest than fabrication? More noble? I don’t know. It makes my head hurt. But here I sit at the Crystal Cafe, waiting for my sisters. Stuffed inside my purse is the truth. The real truth. And I have just a few minutes to decide if I will reveal it.

Jimmy Carl Harris, “I Come to the Garden Alone,” the first story in his short story collection, Wounds that Bind:

 I buried you next to him.

Jessica Murphy, “Nature’s Conscience”:

 I awoke with a sharp pain in my back, sprawled across what felt like cables.

Sandi Rog, Yahshua’s Bridge:

 Alexander held his breath as the man he’d never called Daddy forced him underwater.

Patsy Evans Pittman, Blood Kin & Other Strangers:

Deena stood in the kitchen of the house where she grew up, giving the creamed tomatoes one last stir. It was hot as blazes and the window air-conditioner in the dining room didn't help much. She blew the fringe of bangs out of her eyes, then swiped at the sweat on her upper lip with the sleeve of her over-sized WVU tee shirt.

Sherry Wilson, Second Beginning:

The cameras flashed as Danielle stepped out of the limo, her sights on the entrance of the Royal Albert Hall. The paparazzi swarmed around her like killer bees and she longed for a cloak of invisibility, if only for the short trip to the doors.

Rhonda White, Good Friends. Read the rest at Steel Toe Review: Contemporary Southern Arts & Literature – http://steeltoereview.com/2013/09/16/good-friends-by-rhonda-browning-white/:

She has a great body, my friend does, I’ll give her that. And I have no problem telling you she’s at least ten years younger than I am, and looks it.

C.F. King, All Things Carnal:

Thomas Gantry wore tolerance like a hair shirt, with grim determination. Daily, he did penance for Man’s sins. Self-flagellation was his redemption, and joy his nemesis.

As you can see, it’s important to start your story with a line that makes people want to read on. If you’re having trouble with this, let us know. We can help.

© 2013. Charlotte Firbank King. All Rights Reserved.

How to Keep Writing

By

Rhonda Browning White

The most ardent, self-disciplined taskmasters occasionally have weak moments when we find it hard to write, but it’s important to work through those feeble hours. How do we do it? How do we make writing a priority and encourage ourselves to put words on the page? These easy steps will keep you going through the driest days of writing drought (and doubt).

• Give yourself permission to write. To whom does this dream, this life-goal, this road to success belong? It belongs to you! So why do you need anyone else’s permission to pursue it? Simply put, you don’t. You only need your permission. What are you waiting for? Go write!
• 
  
•  Beat your doubt into submission. Face it; you’re not going to wake up each morning eager to jump headlong into writing. In fact, most days you won’t even want to get out of bed without hitting the snooze button at least once. Don’t wait for the Muse to sit on your shoulder. She’s a fickle little witch, anyway. You don’t need her. Write without her, just to spite her!
• 
  
•  Write down your dreams. Start big! New York Times Bestseller list? Fine. Now break it down. Might need to write a book first, right? That’ll mean finding an agent, as well. How will she know you’re any good? Ahhh, yes, she’ll see your list of bylines. Don’t have any? Time to write some short stories, articles or poems. Have you already written some good ones? Then send them out! Breaking your dreams into manageable pieces is the first thing to do. Then take one step toward completing those steps each week (or each day). And keep writing.
• 
  
•  Accept that you’ll never see the bottom of the laundry basket. There will always be clothes to wash, pots to scour, floors to mop and bathtubs to scrub. And they’ll be there after you’ve finished writing today. (Trust me; the housecleaning fairy doesn’t exist—I’ve set many traps for her, to no avail). If dinner isn’t started on time, order pizza, and keep writing. Ask your family to pitch in and help with chores. If they ignore your pleas, they’ll figure out that someone needs to go to the grocery store when the cupboards are bare. In the meantime, keep writing.
• 
  
•  Learn to accept rejection. Realize that a rejection of your manuscript isn’t a rejection of you, as a person. It doesn’t mean you’re a terrible writer. It may simply mean that your work was too long, too short, too funny, too sad, or didn’t fit the space or theme of a particular magazine’s forthcoming edition. Or it could be that the agent or editor simply doesn’t like the genre or style in which you write. The next agent might think it’s the best thing she’s ever read! Rejection happens. Get over it, and keep writing.
• 
  
• Submit your work. The best thing I know of to inspire more writing is publication. Of course you must take a moment to dance your way back from the mailbox, and you may have to crack open a bottle of champagne, or go out to dinner tonight to celebrate your success. But as soon as you return home, start writing. It’s important to feed the excitement of inspiration with words and more words. And more words. Your words. Build off your own momentum. Keep writing!

When a Woman's Word Is Gold: How Women Are Redefining the Publishing World

by Daleen Berry 

(reprinted from Huffington Post)

If you're a woman, this is your time: to get your book published, if you're an aspiring author, or to find a good one to read, if you're a bookworm. Or even to set trends, if you're a publisher and you want to tell people about the great books you believe in.

I'm all four: a woman, a bookworm, an author, and a publisher. I self-published my memoir, Sister of Silence, in 2011 in paperback. The ebook came out in November. Even though the topic is dark, the message is not -- and it's one women can relate to. Namely that you have, at your own fingertips, the power to change your own life. Your destiny. Call it a book about women's issues.

Which is why I went to the Women's Fiction Festival in Matera, Italy, last week: it was chock full of women -- who write books for women. The theme, "Publishing Is a Button," was highlighted throughout the conference's workshops. We learned about the digital revolution, where ebooks have overtaken paperback ones, and where indie publishers like Amazon are decimating traditional ones. We learned about the importance of agents, or how to go it alone (as I did) without one.

Most of all, we learned that the publishing world is now listening to women: We play a major role in such things as which titles get published and read, what a book will look like once it reaches the reader, and whether the media can stop a poorly-written book. (Fifty Shades of Grey proves it can't, which is a great example of how the market -- real readers, 80-percent of whom are women -- is controlling what sells and what doesn't.)

WFF's founder Elizabeth Jennings is an author herself. "Finally it is changing in the favor of (women) writers. This is our time," Jennings said.

"This is a fabulous time to be a writer," Christine Witthohn, founder of Book Cents Literary Agency, said. "Two years ago, the prize was getting a contract with the Big Six (publishing houses) in New York. Not so much now. Indie presses offer better pay, advances and royalties," Witthohn said.

Indeed, Witthohn has two debut authors who have earned a five- or six-figure income in a matter of months. One of those authors, S.G. Redling, sold more than 70,000 copies of her book,Flowertown, in the first six weeks.

Their publisher? Amazon. Wannabe authors take note: Amazon has CreateSpace, its publish-on-demand (POD) firm for self-published authors. Its Kindle Direct Program (KDP) produces digital books for indie authors and publishers. And now the giant online retailer produces its own line of books. Like Redling, those authors receive a traditional advance and royalties.

The publishing world is indeed changing. Nina Bruhns, an editor with Entangled Publishing, believes it's due "in large part to the women authors who have worked so hard over the past 30, 40, 50 years, to show that we could write just as well as men" and that we have things to say that people care about. Bruhns believes this is because "we've finally reached the stage where we as women can write about things that are of interest to us and not be made fun of... but be valued for it."

Publisher Stephane Marsan, head of the French firm Bragelonne, said the impact women are having on the market is amazing. In the U.K. a female editor or publisher will go to great lengths to convince everyone (in the business world who has a say) to publish a book. "Men think if we're interested in it, we don't think we have to convince anyone of anything," Marsan said. "That's a big mistake."

In the past, publishing heads have been male, like Marsan. But women are fed up with having their books turned down, or at having to write more because of traditionally getting paid less than their male counterparts, Bruhns said.

Women are also disgusted when traditional publishing houses reject their books. I know firsthand what that's like: I queried about three dozen agents and a few publishers before deciding to go solo. I formed Nellie Bly Books, LLC, and my little indie firm published my memoir. Now, a paperback book that I couldn't get New York literary types to touch is being taught in four colleges or universities that I know of, including Johns Hopkins. The e-book is selling like hotcakes, and the 101 reviews have given Sister of Silence an average of 4.3 stars. It's proving to be a book that speaks to women, but that didn't matter to publishers.

And it never would have happened if I had not taken the reins and steered my horse in the direction I wanted it to go. Granted, I could have failed. But the facts show these new business models, largely run by women, are doing anything but.

Take Entangled, for instance. Bruhns said founder Elizabeth Pelletier opened her doors to huge controversy. Its business model is based on equality: shared profits and shared success. So everyone in the company (earns) royalties. It's doing so well that Pelletier has had to condense her five-year plan into a one-year plan. "No one in their wildest dreams thought we were going to be this successful," Bruhns added.

For women -- who historically have been forced to live in a man's world -- the new publishing models are all about control. Until recently, female writers had absolutely none over their own careers. "From the first scribes back in ancient Egypt up until a few years ago, the writer was really at the bottom of the totem pole. Other people decided what we wrote, what got published, and what was available" for the public to read, Bruhns said.

"We had very, very little, if any, control over any of that process. Now that's all changed. So our (time) has come and it's just an amazing, amazing time to be a writer. Because you can decide yourself what you want to present to the world to read, and take care of your own career and not depend on somebody in New York or Milan or anywhere to make money or put out what's best," Bruhns said. "Not what you want. Or which won't be available to read."

Mary Leo, a romantic comedy author who once wrote for Harlequin but then found their doors closed to her, urged aspiring authors to "settle for more." She did that when she went to a Romance Writers of America conference and teamed up with three other authors. They wrote one book, which they published through an indie press. The process was so much fun, the three authors published four more, similar books.

"All of a sudden I was able to write whatever I wanted to write, say whatever I wanted to say, because I knew we were going to publish them. They were going to find a home," Leo said. "We started selling books and it did so much for my self-esteem. It brought back that creativity, that fun I had when I write," Leo said. "It amazes me how easy it was. Suddenly I was having dinner with editors and agents."

Author Janet Wellington has four traditional print books with publishers Dorchester, Berkley and Kensington. Nevertheless, she wanted to try the do-it-yourself route, which she calls "very doable." Wellington said she learned in three months everything she needed to know to publisher her book, and then set up the digital edition with KDP.

The key to being a successful self-publishing author is the "responsibility of being professional," Wellington said. "Make sure the book is edited and error-free, and your cover looks very good. All of that is extremely important because you are now your publisher if you're indie."

I can attest to that. Although I thought I had edited Sister of Silence until it was flawless, it turns out I was wrong. A few mistakes crept in. And trust me, that's something readers notice -- andcomment on in their reviews.

Unfortunately, there is a glut of poorly-edited or even badly-written books out there. This makes it harder for readers to find your book. But once they do, watch out. "For $200 you can pay for edits and your story shines through, so it's worth it," Anselm Aston, of Attica Books, a British indie publisher, said. "The challenge almost always involves getting people to find it," he added.

Jennings says she believes the current abundance of books is great. "For readers, there's been an intellectual boom," she said.

The key is for readers to find a good, or even great book, by an author they love. "Always, always write a fabulous book and people will find you. Even in the glut," Bruhns said.

Doing that may boil down to forming a psychological bond with other people -- something women are famous for doing well. "The best weapon to make people buy a book is to talk about the human aspects of a book," Marsan said.

He believes the real trick for today's publishers is not just to find a wonderful book. Rather, it's to find books that will make "a deep impact with the readers." One that will achieve the ultimate goal of causing a reader to feel like they would like to have a chat with them, to know why the writer wrote the book, to "be their friend," he added.

 

This Blogger's Books from

Sister of Silence
by Daleen Berry

 

 

Follow Daleen Berry on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DaleenBerry

Deadly Sin Three: Passivity

Passivity is what lulls our readers to sleep—no matter how exciting our story. Here are some ways to get rid of this deadly sin.

PASSIVE SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION. Construct sentences so the subject performs the action instead of having an action performed upon the subject. This means the actor (subject) is mentioned before the action (verb), not after. Sentences that begin with “there are,” “there is,” “there was,” or “there were” are always passive. Get rid of them.

Passive: Sleeping was used by the writer to prevent exhaustion.
Active: The writer slept to prevent exhaustion.
Better: The writer slept.

Passive: A book is read by the student.
Active: The student reads a book.

Passive: There were three people in the grocery line.
Active: Three people waited in the grocery line.

PASSIVE VERBS. Watch for passive verbs, such as was, is, were, are, had, am, and so forth. Replace them with active verbs, the most active and descriptive words you can think of. Your prose will come to life.

PRESENT PARTICIPLES. Verbs ending with “ing” (and requiring a helping verb) are by nature more passive than those ending with “ed.”

Bad: She was eating breakfast.
Good: She ate eggs and toast. (Specifics never hurt!)

BONUS TIP: If you’re using a “helping” verb (was, were, is, are) there’s a good chance you’re passive.

BONUS TIP: Never start a sentence with “there was” or “there are” or any variation of these.

(c) 2008 Inspiration for Writers, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Deadly Sin Two: Telling Not Showing

by Sandy Tritt

The First Rule of Writing is Show, Don’t Tell. That sounds easy, but what, exactly, does show mean? It means we must act out our scenes using action and dialogue in such a way that our reader can visualize exactly where he is and who he’s with—all while keeping him on the edge of his seat. Let’s look at an example:

Carey ate breakfast, then he took a shower and went to the store. At the store he met a girl and they talked for a long time. Carey liked her but she blew him off. Then he went home.

Tells you a lot about Carey, huh? Okay—so this example is exaggerated, but it hits home the necessity of showing and not telling. What can we do to fix it? We need more detail, especially in dialogue and action. Consider:

     Carey studied the frozen dinners. He’d had turkey and dressing for the last four days, so Salisbury steak would be good for a change. But did he want the “Big Man’’ or the regular?
     A scent teased his nose. Not the overwhelming smell of fish and frostbite, but a fresh smell, like the smell of skin just out of the shower. He glanced sideways and saw the most perfect arm he’d ever seen in his life. Long, slender, graceful, full of sinewy muscle and smooth skin. His eyes followed the arm to the shoulder and then the head. Her head. A head covered with long blond hair and containing a face that made his heart stop.
    “Hi,” she said, her voice rich and melodious.
     Carey’s mouth didn’t work. He tried to return her greeting, but only a grunt came out. He tried to smile politely, but his face erupted with a grin as large and toothy and goofy as a cartoon character’s . . .

So now you have the idea. We need details. We need to know thoughts, feelings; we need to smell the perfume, taste the wine, feel the cashmere. It is especially important to act out emotions and emotionally-packed scenes. This is the writer’s opportunity to shine. Never tell us what a character is feeling. Show us. Anything less cheats the reader from experiencing our imaginary world.

Bad: John was angry.
Good: John’s eyes narrowed. He slammed his fist on the table.

We also find the “show, don’t tell” problem in less-apparent ways. For example, in description.

Bad: Mary was a pretty girl, with blue eyes and blond hair.
Good: Mary’s blue eyes glistened with joy, her blond hair bouncing with each step.


Bad: Molly is a wonderful person.
Good: Molly is always there when anyone needs her. She’s the first to arrive with a casserole when someone is sick, the first to send a note of encouragement to those who are troubled, the first to offer a hug to anyone—man, woman or child—at anytime.

Instead of saying Sam is a talented musician, let us hear the crowds cheer, let us feel his passion. Take us into his head as he strokes the piano keys:
     
     Consummation of the soul. That’s what Sam called the gratification he received from music. When his passion became so intense it begged to be satisfied, pleaded to be released, and he was helpless to resist its urges. When his fingers assumed a life of their own, titillating the ivory keys with the complex music of Bach and Mozart and Beethoven, and he became one with the cadence, breathing with the crescendos, his fingers caressing the melody, until everything else faded, everything else disappeared, and only the music existed.

Dialogue is another area where we have the opportunity to show or to tell. “I love you,” she crooned. “I love you, too,” he sputtered. And I cringe. First, using creative dialogue tags (crooned, sputtered) is telling, not showing. Let the power of your dialogue and the accompanying action show your readers the tone of voice and the emotion. Consider:

     “I love you,” she said, her voice smooth as her fingers massaged his Rolex.
     “Love you, too,” he said. His glassy eyes roved over her naked body, his mouth too wet and limp to properly form words.

You can’t tell us someone is a wonderful person, a talented musician or a spoiled child. We won’t believe you. You must show us. Throughout your manuscript, look for any opportunity to show us in real time, to act out, to let us feel.

But—does this mean we should act out absolutely everything? Uh-uh. Let’s face it—if we showed everything, our novels would run tens of thousands of pages—and readers would die of exhaustion. So what do we do? We must decide what information the reader needs. Just because we know everything about our characters and just because we spent weeks researching, it isn’t necessary to share everything we know with our reader. We must choose only the details we need to authenticate our story and omit everything else.

One of the most difficult and most crucial elements in story-telling is knowing when to give play-by-play action and when to back off and summarize. Play with this. If a scene doesn’t hold your interest, maybe it is better to summarize it in a sentence or two and go on to something more important. However, if it is a pivotal scene in the plot or critical to our understanding how our character reacts in a given situation, go for it. Give us action, give us dialogue, and let us experience and savor every single moment of it.

BONUS TIP: Never name an emotion. That’s a sure-fire giveaway that you’re telling and not showing.

© 2008 Sandy Tritt. All rights reserved.

For more tips visit www.InspirationForWriters.com

The First Deadly Sin of Writing

by Sandy Tritt

The Devil of Rejection tempts every writer with the Seven Deadly Sins of Writing. They seem innocent enough—a misplaced comma here, an adverb there—but soon the writer finds himself sinking into the dreaded darkness of the Rejection Pile. Often, he doesn't even realize he's been deceived. So let's reveal the Seven Deadly Sins of Writing for what they are—Death to your manuscript.


DEADLY SIN ONE: POOR GRAMMAR AND SPELLING
And punctuation and word choice. Nothing shouts “AMATEUR!” as loudly as poor punctuation, ghastly grammar, and sporadic spelling. No matter how wonderful a story is, if the writer doesn’t make an effort to proof for these problems, no agent or publisher (or reader) will take you seriously. If you do not have these skills yourself, hire an editor. If you plan to make writing your vocation, take classes at a local college, pick up a good reference manual (we recommend the Little, Brown Essential Handbook for Writers by Jane E. Aaron—$26.75 at Amazon.com), and keep up to date by subscribing to email services (we recommend Daily Writing Tips at http://www.dailywritingtips.com/  and Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips at http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/)--and, of course, our own blog, newsletter, and bevy of tips on our website. Proof your manuscript, have five friends proof your manuscript, and then proof, proof, proof again.

BONUS TIP: Be consistent, especially if you wander from conventional usages. For example, if you choose to capitalize a word that is typically not capped, do so throughout your manuscript.

BONUS TIP: Limit use of exclamation marks, ellipses, colons and semi-colons.

BONUS TIP: Periods and commas go INSIDE the quotation marks.

Next week, we'll post the Second Deadly Sin of Writing. See you then!

(c) 2003 by Sandy Tritt. All rights reserved.