Editing Companies EXPOSED

by

Sandy Tritt

 



As the owner of a small editing company, I sometimes scope out our competition to see what they are doing and to make certain we’re competitive. I’ll have to admit, I’ve gotten lazy about this during the last few years, but I recently Googled “fiction editor” and “manuscript editing” and a few other related terms to see who was appearing and what they were offering. And I was shocked. Literally, jaw-dropping, oh-my-goodness, I-can’t-believe-this shock. 

 

The last time I did market research was during the recent recession. At that time, I was surprised at the number of pop-up editing companies. It seemed that many writers who’d lost their day jobs decided to give editing a whirl. They put up a quick website, undercut the experienced editors, and became fly-by-night “editors.” Most of these companies have since gone out of business. So, Valuable Tip Number One: Before you send your work—and definitely before you send your money—check to be sure the company is still in business. 

 

The time before that, my shocking discovery was the number of corporations who assigned editing jobs to the lowest bidder. Unfortunately, there are still a few of these companies out there. If your edit is going to the lowest bidder, I can almost guarantee that you’re not getting a quality job. Valuable Tip Number Two: Whenever a company is more vested in the number of words an editor has edited and the speed with which this editor edits, you can be sure that quality is not the focus. 

 

But this time, I discovered a new low, and it’s all from one “first” company. This “first” company is very aggressive in marketing. Four of the top Google placement ads led directly to their site, and a number of others did so indirectly. I am also bombarded by their pop-up ads and feature ads on just about every website that sells advertising. They must harvest emails, because immediately after I visited the site, I started receiving offers and discounts—several the first few days, and now two a day. The site itself is a bit like a used car lot. There are flashing pop-ups with live editors just waiting to “chat” with you. There are free samples—as many as you want. They promise “superior quality, incredible speed, and LOW prices.” And they GUARANTEE your satisfaction! Sounds too good to be true. Which leads us to Valuable Tip Number Three: If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

 

A little more research on their site revealed they edit the following “genres”:  

• Novel Editing
• Fiction Editing
• Non-Fiction Editing
• Book Editing Services
• First Time Author
• Christian Editing
• Black Genre Editing

  

Yeah. Last time I checked, a novel is fiction. And I don’t have a clue as to which category I’d select if I were a first-time author of Black-genre Christian fiction (what is, by the way, “Black Genre”?). Worse, I clicked on the sample edits provided on their website. First, they missed obvious typos and errors. Worse, they suggested changes in direct opposition to good writing practices. And, perhaps most alarming: the sample edit was done in a version of non-English Word. That’s right. It was a Swedish version of Word. Which tells me the editor was likely not a native English speaker.

 

Despite the annoying pop-ups, I continued to explore the site. They are aggressively searching for more editors. What are the requirements to edit for them? Well, here’s the list (and note that if you don’t meet the requirements of the first item, you just keep dropping down the list until you match one of the criteria):  

1. Extensive professional editing experience with solid references from previous employers 
2. A doctorate degree
3. Advanced education - Masters, Bachelors, specific editing courses, proofreading certification, etc. 
4. Affiliation, membership, or participation with editing organizations, writing associations, etc. 
5. An international location which serves a time zone outside of the continental North American market, especially those editors located in New Zealand, Australia, Alaska, or Hawaii 

 

If you still don’t meet their standards, don’t worry. Go ahead and apply anyway. These are just suggestions.  

 

After wiping the dirt off my hands and continuing my research, I clicked on the next Google ad for editing services. This one looked like a decent site. It showed an actual photograph of a real person editing. But when I clicked on a few of the links, something frightening happened: I was back on the website of the “first” editing company. Yes. The one I’m wailing about above. It so happens there are several freelance editors who belong to the “first” family of editing.  

 

By now, I was horrified. So, I followed my own Valuable Tip Number Four: When you want to know the truth about something related to writing, visit the Absolute Write Water Cooler. More specifically, I went to http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=262403. If you’re suffering from low blood pressure and need to get your blood pumping and your arteries compressing, I encourage you to visit this page about “first” editors. 

 

The bottom line: there are still a number of independent, devoted editors out there who are traditionally published with a higher-education degree in writing, editing, or English, who charge a reasonable rate to give you a personal and professional job. Any editing company that doesn’t show photographs of the actual editors—and their individual qualifications—is most likely hiding something. Be sure to do your research, and hire an editing company that has integrity. Valuable Tip Number Five: Before hiring an editor, Google the editor by name and by company name. See how vested the editor is in the writing community. Does he/she have books available? Give writing workshops? Speak at writing conferences? 

 

It is important to hire a professional editor to review your work before you submit it. Please do your homework and choose one who is qualified—one who will make your work better, not worse.  

 

We are here for you. Give us a shout at IFWeditors@gmail.com.

 

 

Body Language of the Arms, Hands, Feet, and Posture

by

Charlotte Firbank-King

Welcome back! This is part three of a three-part series discussing body language and how we can use it to strengthen our writing. If you’ve missed either of our earlier articles, you may want to stop, go back, and read them first. They can be found here and here.

In today’s blog, we’re discussing the body language of the hands, arms, feet, and posture. Once we realize we should use action and body language instead of dialogue tags, our natural tendency is to concentrate on the face, saying things like “he smiled” or “he frowned” or “he laughed.” So, your challenge today: First, go through your manuscript and highlight every time you’ve used one of the “easy” descriptors: smiled, grinned, laughed, frowned, grimaced, nodded, shrugged, and so forth. Then, replace those easy words with something more complex. This is where a study in body language will help. We have more than just the face to look at. It’s the entire body that tells us what we need to know. So, without further ado, let’s look at the body language relating to emotions.

Body Language of the Arms

Crossed arms are one of the “easy” actions we overuse in writing. However, it can still be effective, as long as it’s not overused. Crossed arms indicates the individual is closing himself to social influence. Some people habitually cross their arms, which may indicate the person is slightly reserved, uncomfortable with his appearance, self-conscious and trying to cover it, or just trying to hide something on his clothes, such as a stain or a tear. Crossed arms do not always reflect a defensive stance. Sometimes, especially if the legs are also splayed, it can indicate the person is aggressive, with a feeling of superiority or power. If arms are crossed while the feet are shoulder width or wider apart, toughness or authority is indicated. Crossed arms may also mean that a person is angry but trying not to show it.

If someone rubs his hands together or touches or strokes his own body, he may be comforting or soothing himself. This could be because he’s sad or upset over a recent event, or it could mean he isn’t enjoying the current situation.

If someone rests his arms behind his neck or head, he is open to what is being discussed—or, he may be just laid-back in general.

Exaggerated movements of the hands or arms can show passion or interest in a subject.

Body Language of the Hands

There are many ways in which hand gestures can help us understand what a person (or character) really means. Some of these gestures are learned—such as the classic “thumbs up” or “giving the finger” or using the index finger as the “we are number one” sign. But others are natural reflexes that can help us communicate more effectively.

A character with his palms slightly up and outward shows openness and friendliness. However, if he holds his palms down, he is likely to be dominant or possibly aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. Hands up and palms out as in “I give up” is literally that, if both hands are used. One hand, palm up and facing the speaker may be “enough!”

A firm handshake gives the impression of assertiveness or honesty; too firm is arrogant or challenging.

Hands placed on the heart show sincerity. However, since this is one of the better known gestures, it can sometimes be used as a deliberate action to deceive. 

Hands clasped at the midriff show subservience. 

Hands clasped behind the back can mean a person is confident. However, the person may be deliberately clasping his hands behind his back in order to appear confident or to avoid using them in an illustrative manner. Military people often stand like this out of habit.

Hands on the hips shows anger, defiance, and impatience.

Hands that are closed or clenched can represent irritation, anger, or nervousness. 

Pregnant women may put their hands on their stomachs if they feel threatened, indicating a desire to protect the unborn child.

If a stomach is churning with fear or excitement, the individual may put his hands on his stomach to quell the emotion. Butterflies in the tummy are an increase in adrenaline.

Frequent reaching forwards or superfluous hand gestures can mean that someone is trying to convince another person of something. The exact meaning of these gestures will depend largely on context.

If someone brushes his hair back with his fingers, this may be preening, a common gesture if the person is attracted to someone.

A character could touch his hair in a flicking manner if his thoughts conflict with another person. He may never speak a word of disagreement, but raised eyebrows combined with this action probably means he disagrees with the person.

Twisting hair is generally a nervous action.

Running fingers through hair or rubbing the back of their neck usually indicates irritation or exasperation in a situation.

When a person taps his fingers on something, it's usually a sign of excitement or impatience.

If a person wears glasses and is constantly pushing them up onto his nose with a slight frown, it may also indicate he disagrees with what a person is saying—unless, of course, it’s a habit or the glasses don’t fit properly.

Lowered eyebrows and narrowed eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on. It's usually skeptical. This is presuming the character is not trying to observe something that's far away.

Body Language of the Feet

Tapping quickly, shifting weight, laughing, or moving the foot will most often mean the person is impatient, excited, nervous, scared, or intimidated. The surrounding context will need to provide the clues as to which emotion is being conveyed.

If a person is talking to someone and both feet face the speaker the listener is interested. If one foot is pointed away from the speaker, the listener doesn’t want to be there; he is eager to leave. This is just an interesting aside and would be too complicated to use in a story.

If someone taps his foot while another talks, he may have a desire to leave. Context will tell us if he needs to leave because of another appointment or if he’s frustrated with the person speaking. This behavior usually manifests when the person is anxious to get somewhere. 

If a couple’s legs or feet touch while flirting, tapping of a foot could be interpreted as nervous excitement. If they’re uncomfortable, they would discreetly move away from the contact, a much more subtle escape than telling the person to move away.

If a person is sitting, feet crossed at the ankles, he is generally at ease.

If, while standing, a person keeps his feet close together, he may be trying to be "proper" in some way. Sometimes feet close together conveys a feeling of submissiveness or passiveness.

If someone purposely touches another person’s feet, it’s likely he is flirting. However, if he knows the person well and other people are present, it may be a warning nudge.

So, there you have it. Lots of ways to add depth to your characters, get rid of dialogue tags and meaningless expressions, and bring your writing up another level.

If you’ve done everything you can to make your manuscript the best it can be, send it to our editors at IFWeditors@gmail.com. We can give you an honest evaluation and show you more ways to improve your writing.

Body Language of the Head and Face

by

Charlotte Firbank-King



Last week, we discussed the body language of deception. This week, we will discuss the body language of the face and head, and next week, we will discuss the body language of hands, arms, feet, and posture. As we mentioned last week, the use of body language will greatly strengthen your reader’s understanding of your characters.


Body Language of the Face

The Mouth—Oh, Those Smiles

Smiling is one of the most complex of all movements. Over eighty facial muscles are involved in smiling, and there are many different types of smiles. Let’s take a look . . . .

A lopsided smile can mean a person is teasing or mocking. If  the skin at the middle, outside corner of the eyes have no crinkles, the smile is probably fake. Authentic smiles peak or change rapidly from a small facial movement to a broad open expression.

A slow smile can be flirtatious, indicating an attempt to seduce, especially if combined with sultry eyes.

If the corners of the mouth go up ever so slightly, it could mean the person is mocking or even challenging.

A tentative half-smile usually means nervousness, uncertainty or insecurity.

Other Emotions Shown with the Mouth:

Sometimes pursed lips—which usually signify disapproval—can twist to the side when people are thinking. However, this can be an intentional movement to hide an emotion or to deceive. Pursed lips that twist and pull to one side can show self-depreciation.

Of course, if the corners of the mouth go down, forming a frown, the mouth's owner is likely unhappy, especially if her lips are full and plump, forming a pout. However, if the lips are taut, the owner is more likely angry.

If lips are pressed tightly together, the person is likely defiant, angry or disapproving.

Biting the lip or sucking the bottom lip between one’s teeth usually shows uncertainty or embarrassment, but if the lips quirk up slightly at the corners, it could show suppressed humor.

If one side of the mouth goes up and the other side down, the person is probably scowling, although, if the eyes look happy, it could mean they are teasing.

If a person presses his tongue against his mouth, he probably is not interested.

Body Language of the Eyes:

Looking sideways often means the person is distrustful or unconvinced.

When a person closes his eyes longer than the time it takes to blink, it usually indicates that he is reining in his temper, is stressed, is alarmed, or feels despair. Simply closing the eyes can also be a way to “close” someone or something out, such as bad news.

If someone looks down at the floor a lot, he is probably shy or timid. If he keeps his eyes down, he could be showing submission. People also tend to look down when upset or when trying to hide something that affects them emotionally. When they are thinking and feeling unpleasant emotions (including guilt), they will often stare at the ground.

In Western culture, looking someone in the eyes usually means trustworthiness and openness. However, in some cultures, this same action is a sign of disrespect or is done only with family and close friends.

Eyes that are focused in the distance can mean the person is in deep thought—or that he’s just not listening.

Other Emotions Displayed with the Face:

If the jaw is jutted forward, the person is showing defiance, belligerence, or anger.

If a muscle twitches in the cheek or jaw, the teeth are probably clenched, which, of course, means suppressed anger.

Body Language of the Head

A dropped head can mean many things, depending upon other signs available. For example, if the eyes are narrowed, it could mean suspicion or suppressed anger. But if the eyes skitter around or if the lashes slowly lower, it could mean submission, coyness, or dishonesty.

Likewise, having a raised head can mean many things. If the head is raised and the eyes are angry and the mouth set, it could mean the person is defiant or offended. If the mouth also twitches, it could be an indication of inner distress. If the eyes are hooded and the mouth pressed firm, it could mean fearless anger. If they eyes flash, it could show defiance. If the eyes are normally rounded, the person could be amused or simply not feeling any strong emotion.

If the head is tilted to one side, it could mean the person is listening attentively, is curious, or is interested in the conversation or whatever is happening.

If the head is pulled back while tilted, it can show disbelief or suspicion.

Nodding, of course, means “yes,” and shaking the head means “no.” When these actions contradict the words being spoken, others should notice, as this signifies something isn’t right. The person is either lying or trying to deceive on some level, or is uncertain or uncomfortable.

Conclusion

I hope you learned something from this article. Next week we will discuss the body language of the hands and feet.

Here’s a challenge: go through your manuscript and replace every dialogue tag with an action or body language. Doing just this one thing will make your writing much more engaging. Try it.

The Body Language of Deception

by

Charlotte Firbank-King

Body language is must-have knowledge in a writer’s arsenal of writing tools. It’s important to understand that people communicate through body language, whether intentionally or not. Studies have shown how important body language and tone are when people speak face-to-face. Therefore, if you expect dialogue—your character’s words—alone to communicate his emotional state to your reader, you’re expecting way too much. It’s critically important to replace those ho-hum dialogue tags (he said/she said) with body language or action. Let your reader see the way the speaker’s fist is clenched when he talks or the way a character’s head tilts toward her lover. Those are the clues your reader needs to figure out what is really going on.

I strongly recommend picking up one of the many books on body language and keeping it with your other reference books. Body language can a great array of emotions, and we couldn’t possibly cover all of them in one blog article. Therefore, we’ll talk today about the body language of deception.

The Body Language of Liars

A liar will often cover his mouth, as though to keep the deceitful words inside. He may lick his lips or giggle, and, when he speaks, he may hesitate, stutter, or slur, or, he may have an overly controlled tone. Most liars will speak with less inflection, tending toward a monotone. When asked a direct question, he may repeat the question, or say, “Do you think that I would do this?” or state his opinion on the subject—which is likely to be violently opposed to any such activity that he’s being asked about—instead of directly answering the question. For example, if asked if he mowed over the daisies, he’d say, “There’s no excuse for sloppy mowing. Mowers should be aware of what they are doing at all times.” He’s also likely to hesitate before answering, especially if asked a question for which he’s unprepared. 

Liars will normally avoid eye contact. Some liars are aware that this will give them away, so they will instead force eye contact, which feels unnatural. Pupils constrict when their owner lies, which may be why liars blink rapidly. They may glance away or glance sideways. 

A liar wants to be invisible—or, at the least, take up as little space as possible and not draw attention to himself. Therefore, he may have an overly stiff posture with controlled movement, and his hands and leg movements are toward his body core, not outward. 

In some people, the hands may be animated, as though the extra movement can help move the words through the air with added integrity. However, a liar will not cover his heart with his hand—that is, unless he’s aware this is a sign of being open and honest, and he does it to deceive. An honest person will often have a hand that is turned up, with the palm exposed, while a liar will keep his hand clenched or his palm down. A liar’s hands may touch his face, throat and mouth, or touch or scratch his nose, upper lip, or behind his ear.

Emotional Gestures and Contradictions of Liars

When someone tries to deceive, the timing may be off between the emotional gestures/expressions and spoken words. For example, a character may say, "I love it!" when receiving a gift, but then smiles after making that statement, rather than at the same time. The gestures/expressions may also fail to match the words spoken, such as smiling when saying “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” or shaking the head while saying, “Yes, I’ll take care of that for you.”

Expressions are limited to mouth movements instead of involving the entire face when faking emotions. For example, when someone smiles naturally, his whole face is involved. He has jaw/cheek movement, his eyes light up, and his skin crinkles at the corners. A liar’s eyes remain expressionless when he smiles.

Interactions and Reactions

A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away. He may unconsciously place an object, such as a book or a newspaper, between himself and the other person, or he may move objects around, indicating discomfort.

If an accuser believes someone is lying, he should change the subject quickly. A liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed; the deceiver is relieved the subject changed. An innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topic and try to return to the previous subject.

Final Notes on Lying

These are just a few of the body language clues that a deceiver may use. In fact, entire books have been written on just this one area—on the body language of a liar or how to identify a liar, so it’s a subject that can be studied in-depth. 

It’s also important to note that when trying to clue your reader that a character is lying, the character should respond in a way that is not normal for him. And, of course, just because a character exhibits one or more of these signs does not make him a liar. 

If a character is a psychopath, these indicators may possibly not apply—psychopaths have no real conscience, and therefore do not have the guilt that causes many of the reactions listed here. Some psychopaths may even be cunning enough to behave in an acceptable manner—and are good enough actors to get by with it.

Writing is a craft with much to learn. We encourage you to sign up for our newsletters, this blog, and glean our website for the many tips offered there. We’re also here to help you along the way. Just shoot us off an email at IFWeditors@gmail.com. We’re here.

Don't Traumatize Your Reader

by

Sandy Tritt

Did you ever think about what happens to an unsuspecting reader when a scene changes? He’s been comfortable, hanging around and experiencing your story, aware of where he is, when he is, and through whose eyes he’s seeing/hearing/feeling things, when all of a sudden one scene ends and another begins. Your poor reader is snatched out of his comfort zone, zoomed through time and space, and is plunged into a new scene. God—er, um, YOU, only know where he is now. He may crash into the same physical space he’s just vacated—or he may end up across the globe or even in a new galaxy. Five seconds may have passed—or ten days or a dozen centuries. Even more jolting, he could now be seeing and hearing and smelling through a different body.

It’s an extremely unsettling experience. That is, unless you, the Creator of this world the reader is visiting, are experienced enough and thoughtful enough to guide him through the trauma. Oh, my! Did you even know you had this humongous responsibility? Well, you do now.

Within the first few sentences of a new scene, your reader needs to know several things, including:

1. Whose eyes he’s now seeing things through (if you employ a single viewpoint character throughout the manuscript, this is not necessary)
2. Who is present
3. What our characters look like (this is something that we usually sprinkle throughout a story, receiving bits and pieces of information as we go and is more or less important depending upon genre).
4. Where he is in general—such as the city, state, country. If this general location has not been visited previously, we may need more information, such as if it’s rural, big city, etc.
5. Location, specific: if inside, where he is, such as in a living room or inside a diner. If outside, if he’s in a vehicle, hiking, etc.
6. Time period: the decade he’s in. (If this does not change throughout the manuscript, you do not need to re-establish this).
7. Time of year: spring, summer, fall, winter—or actual month
8. General time of day: morning, afternoon, evening, night
9. Weather, if it affects the story in any way (and it usually does)

Additionally, the reader may need to know the date or the day of week, as well as any historically relevant happenings on that day. For example, if this scene occurs on September 11, 2001, and no mention is made of the collapse of the twin towers, your reader is going to question your integrity. I call providing this information grounding your reader, as it allows your reader to simply relax and become a part of the story instead of floating around in space, desperately trying to figure out where and when he is and through whose eyes he’s seeing.

If it were not for the First Commandment of Writing—Thou Must Show, Not Tell, we’d just open each scene with a recitation of all the necessary facts. But, instead, we must be artistic about it. We must not just give all the information, but we must sprinkle it around and create amazing prose with conflict and suspense while doing so.  The goal is to create a picture the readers can imagine in their minds. They must be able to envision where the action is happening, who is present, and what is going on. This balancing act of feeding information to your reader while maintaining interest is not easy.

Here’s an example from one of my novels, The Mistress of Gambel Hill:

Ray maneuvered between a cocktail waitress balancing a tray of drinks and a couple entwined in each other’s arms.

“Think we can fit them all in?” Gary waited on the stage with a handful of neatly-stacked requests.

Ray grabbed his brother’s arm and used it as a boost to step up onto the stage. “Yeah. And I gotta add another one before I forget.” He took a pen from his pocket and scribbled the blonde’s request on one of the notes. “Let’s get going.” He went to his stool in the center front and tuned his guitar. A line of cocktails sent by happy customers waited on the table next to him. He looked into the crowd. The stage lights glared back at him. “Glad y’all stuck around,” his deep voice boomed into the microphone. “We’re gonna get to all your requests before—”

He hadn’t checked that his brothers had taken their places. He glanced over his shoulder to his left. Danny, his youngest brother, wasn’t behind the drum set. Instead, Joey’s long arms waited over the drums, his waist-length hair draped over his slender shoulders, a smile teasing his hair-covered lips.

            Ray scratched his goatee and looked behind him. Gary sat at Joey’s keyboard, his bass guitar leaning against his chair. Danny wasn’t on stage.

What do we learn from the opening paragraphs of this scene?

1. Ray is our viewpoint character. We’re going to be seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, and thinking through him.
2. We are in a crowded bar.
3. Ray and Gary are on a stage. They are brothers. They have a band.
4. Ray sits on a stool center stage, plays guitar, and is the speaker for the group. He also drinks. A lot.
5. Ray’s brothers Danny and Joey are also in the band.
6. Joey is tall and slender with long hair and facial hair. He normally plays keyboard, but right now, he’s playing the drums.
7. Ray has a goatee.
8. Gary normally plays bass guitar, but he’s playing keyboard.
9. We have a problem—in addition to all those drinks waiting to be swallowed. Danny is missing. Because his brothers have switched instruments and are smiling, we’re pretty sure everyone but Ray is in on what is about to happen. But something is about to happen.

We need to talk about item number one above. How does the reader know so quickly that Ray is our viewpoint character? This is important. He knows Ray is the viewpoint character because Ray is the first character mentioned by name. Your reader will subconsciously assume the first character mentioned will be the viewpoint character. So you must do your part and honor this agreement by mentioning your viewpoint character’s name before anyone else’s.

If a scene takes place in the same location or shortly after the previous scene, it isn’t necessary to give this information, as the reader will assume it. However, you must always let the reader know who is present in the scene. Few things are more unsettling than having a character suddenly pop into a conversation without knowing the character was even present.

One thing I do to help me remember everything I need to remember is to type all the information—the date, day of the week, location, weather, historical facts, and anything else pertinent—right into my manuscript, at the beginning of the scene. I keep it there until I’m ready to submit. And, then, of course, I save a copy with all that important information in it. That way, if I need to change the sequence of the scenes or make other changes, I’ll know to also change the pertinent facts within a scene.

Another way to do this is to create a scene overview document.  We have such a worksheet in our Tips and Techniques Workbook. How you track it yourself is far less important than that you get it right in your manuscript.

Writing is not easy. There is so much information that must reach the reader, but it must be done without an “info dump.” Study good fiction and the works of accomplished writers. Pay attention to the first few paragraphs of each scene. Notice how the writer feeds information to the reader without seeming as if that’s the goal. In fact, as an exercise, write down the information that is gleaned from a scene, as we did in our example above. It could be an eye opener for when you’re wondering how you can possibly provide so much information and still be entertaining.

If you need help with this—or with any of the elements of fiction or nonfiction—please just shoot us off an email at IFWeditors@gmail.com. We’re here, and we’re always happy to help.

How a No-Good Normal Person Became a Writer

by

Sandy Tritt

I thought I was a good writer. All through school and college, I got A’s in English and Creative Writing and the dozens of literature classes that filled my schedule. My friends all said I was a good writer. People I didn’t know made positive comments about my stories, and I even got a few of them published in local and state journals. 

And then, in the early nineties, I entered the West Virginia Writers Annual Competition for Novels. I won second place, which came with a nice certificate and a check for $150. And it came with a bonus—Mr. D, the judge of the event that year, critiqued the winning entries. Excited, I jumped to the back page to see his overview comments. He said, “You write well—for a normal person. The problem is, you don’t want to be a normal person. You want to be a writer. And you have a lot to learn before you can be a writer.” 

Say what? Even though tears had already started stinging my eyes, I had to re-read his comment to make sure I hadn’t misread. And that was exactly what he’d said. Your writing sucks.

It was late—probably eleven p.m.—the awards program had followed a too-long banquet with a mouthy keynote speaker—and I had to drive home, about fifty minutes away. “You have a lot to learn before you can be a writer” hit me at every milepost, at every traffic light, at every pothole. The words burned not only my eyes, but my heart. I would never write again. Never. I was an imposter, a no-good normal person who could never cross the realm to live in the world of real writers. 

The girls were already in bed when I got home, but my husband was waiting up. He met me with, “What’s wrong?” I tearfully showed him the indictment. You have a lot to learn before you can be a writer. 

Butch just shrugged. “What don’t you write him and ask him what he means by that?” He kissed me and went to bed. 

Do what? There was no question what he meant. You are not a writer. 

By Monday, I had gone through my manuscript. There were many places where he’d made comments such as, “Stop right here. Go get a dictionary and look up the word ‘melodrama.’ That’s what this is. Melodrama. And it doesn’t make the reader feel anything—except the need to vomit” or “What makes you think putting an exclamation mark here makes your story more exciting? If your reader can’t feel the urgency by the words you’ve written, you’re not going to make them feel it by using a whole row of exclamation marks.” But there were other places where he wrote things like, “Now this is fine writing.” Or “This is the way to write it! Good job!”

On Tuesday, I typed a letter out to Mr. D. I thanked him for the critique of my manuscript, and I asked him if he’d be willing to look at a rewrite of the scene he’d chastised as being a melodramatic mess. Surprisingly, a week or so later, I received a letter back (no email back then). He graciously invited me to send him the scene. And a mentorship was born.

For the next two years, I sent scene after scene to Mr. D, and he returned them promptly with comments and encouragements. He gave me reading assignments. He suggested craft books. I coveted every word he said, and I worked hard to understand concepts I’d never given a lot of thought to before. Narrative Voice. Point of View. Denouement. But, more than anything, I learned how to control character emotion. I learned how to make the reader supply the emotion instead of exhausting it all with melodrama. I learned how to write. 

I left the sphere of normal people (which, to be truthful, I never quite fit in anyway) and entered the world of writers. For, you see, you’re not born with the title writer. It isn’t like eye color or skin tone or ancestry. It isn’t a gift. It’s something you learn, something you earn.


Do you want to be a writer? We’d love to be your bridge between the world of normal people and the world of writers. All you have to do is shoot us an email at IFWeditors@gmail.com. Chat soon!

Ins and Outs of the Oxford Comma

by

Jessica Nelson



 

 

If any of you quirked an eyebrow when you read this title and asked yourself, “What is an ‘Oxford comma’?” don’t worry. The first time someone mentioned the Oxford comma to me, I had to ask for an explanation, because I had never heard of it before.

The Oxford comma is what most non-grammar-nerds know as the serial comma. That’s the comma that comes before the “and” in a list. (FUN FACT: I recently learned it is called the Oxford comma because it was primarily used by the printers, editors, and readers at the Oxford University Press. Its use is first mentioned—as far as my research has shown me—in the 1905 edition of the OUP Style Guide). Here’s an example of the Oxford comma:

My favorite authors are Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King, and Mary Shelley.

(Not really, but you get the idea.)

Now, I could omit the Oxford comma and say:

My favorite authors are Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King and Mary Shelley.

The advantage of the Oxford comma is its ability to clear up ambiguous sentences. I know when I read a sentence that contains a list and there isn’t an Oxford comma, I tend to pair the last two items together, the same way most people pair “peanut butter and jelly.” We don’t always think of them as two separate items, but as things that go together. Then, I always expect there to be another item to the list, because, for me, the list isn’t over until I’ve seen “, and.”

Let me give you an example.

For lunch, Mrs. Jones put out a veggie platter, milk and peanut butter sandwiches.

The way I read that, without the Oxford comma, the sandwiches are made of bread, peanut butter, and milk. That just sounds gross—and soggy.

By adding the Oxford comma, it becomes clear that milk is a separate item offered (hopefully, served in some kind of cup). For that reason, I am a proponent of the Oxford comma.

Some style guides mandate the use of the Oxford comma and others prohibit it. This Wikipedia page has a section of “Recommendations by Style Guides” (Section Four, if you’re using the hotlinks in the Contents at the top page) that might be helpful if you aren’t sure if you need to use it. Here’s a quick hint: the Modern Language Association (MLA), the Chicago Manual of Style—the preferred style for fiction writing—and The Elements of Style all support the use of the Oxford comma.

If you don’t know if the style guide you are using encourages or discourages the use of the Oxford comma, or—if you are like me—you don’t know which style guide you are using, make a decision about whether or not you want to use the Oxford comma, then do so consistently. However, if you have chosen not to use the Oxford comma, be sure to read all your list-containing sentences carefully. If the clarity of the sentence is ever in doubt, add the Oxford comma. It can’t hurt.

What is your stance in this heated debate? We’re curious to know. Leave your thoughts in the comments below or on our Facebook page.

Top Ten Writing Tips

by

Sandy Tritt

 

 

1. Get it on paper. Once you’ve written it, you can edit it. But until your story is on paper, in black and white, you have nothing. 

2. Focus. Write one sentence—yes, one sentence—that states what this manuscript is about. Once you have that, you can refer to it to know if a scene belongs in this manuscript. If a scene doesn’t support the focus statement in some way, it doesn’t belong. 

3. Ground your reader at the beginning of each scene. Make sure your reader knows where the scene takes place, when the scene takes place, and who is present in the scene. If you’re using a controlled third person point of view, the first character mentioned should be the viewpoint character for that scene.

4. Know who your narrator is. If you are using the omniscient point of view, your narrator will be an invisible character who is present in every scene, but will not be any one character (although your narrator will have the ability to pop into any character’s head). If you are using a first person point of view, your narrator will be the “I” character. If you are using a controlled third person point of view, your narrator will be standing right next to your viewpoint character and will only be able to see, hear, smell, etc. what that character sees, hears, smells, etc.   

5. Act it out. Yes, it’s been said over and over, but it’s still the first rule of writing. Don’t tell your reader what is happening—allow your reader to experience it through action and dialogue.

6. Use active voice. Don’t start a sentence with “there is” or “there are” or “there were” or “there was.” Doing so automatically puts you in passive voice. Instead of saying “there were seven cheerleaders at the mall,” say “Seven cheerleaders shopped at the mall.” Likewise, try to avoid words like “when” or “while.” “When John looked to his left, he saw the army advancing” is passive and has a gawking character. Instead, say: “John looked to his left. The army advanced.”

7. Use the strongest verbs possible. Replace “was” with “moved.” Replace “moved” with “walked.” Replace “walked” with “strolled.” Constantly search for stronger and stronger verbs. For truly, it is verbs that give a manuscript its power. Avoid adverbs—instead of saying “He walked slowly,” say “He strolled.” 

8. Use an action or body language instead of dialogue tags. Challenge yourself to replace EVERY dialogue tag with an action by the character speaking. You’ll be surprised at how your story comes to life. 

9. Never name an emotion. If you say, “He was angry,” you’re telling, not showing. Let us see him slam his fist on the counter. Let us feel the breeze as he storms by. 

10. When in doubt, leave it out. If a sentence makes sense without “that” or “of,” leave it out. Leave out any word or phrase or paragraph or scene or chapter that is optional.

Be a Cinematic Novelist

by

Charlotte Firbank-King

As a break from my study of the novel, I’m studying scriptwriting. In the process, I realized that perhaps we novelists should follow the scriptwriter’s methods—meaning we should write more concisely and keep the action moving at a fast pace. Most movies are just under two hours long, some less. Can you read your novel in that amount of time and pack in as much action and drama as a scriptwriter does? Scriptwriting is all about economy of words.

When explaining what makes a good story, Alfred Hitchcock said, “Life, with the dull parts taken out.” We need to visualize the movie and write with that vision in our brains. The story needs to be all about action—showing, not telling. For example, we can eliminate internal monologues and allow our reader to reach his own conclusion about what our character was thinking by the way we’ve described a look or an action.  

Scriptwriters can argue that writing is easier for a novelist. They can switch heads at will and go into any character’s head, whereas a scriptwriter has to show all this. So, take a break from all the tools you have available and try writing like a scriptwriter by showing your reader. When you’re about to switch heads to tell the reader how the other character feels, pretend you’re making a movie. How would you make the audience see what you want them to see?

When we first learn to write fiction, we may think that writing dialogue is all about making it sound like real life. More experienced writers know it’s basically smoke and mirrors. You make the reader feel as though they’re reading real dialogue, but it can’t be, because real-life conversations are mundane. Listen to people talk. Most talk is repetitive and downright boring, even if the dialogue is a heated argument. I would go so far as to say record an argument on your mobile phone and then edit it—you’ll take out most of what is said.

Dialogue is a tool used to illustrate a character’s personality or even the character of the person being addressed or discussed. It’s a way to reflect a character’s mood and emotions, or it can convey the relationship the characters have with each other. Dialogue can expose a motive or hide it. Dialogue must always have a root in what was said or what happened before and must lead smoothly into what happens next. It must convey meaning pertinent to the story, and it can be a portent of what might happen next. Above all, dialogue must be concise and easy to understand, not convoluted like real life. Again, see dialogue as if it is in a movie. Make your characters act it out rather than telling the reader what happened.

Scriptwriters have what they call subtext. It’s the understated scene. For example: 

A single mother comes back from a double shift at work. She worked the extra shift to help a friend who needed to attend her little girl’s school play. Dark rings underscore the mother’s eyes and she drags her feet as she walks into the sitting room. Her teenage son sits hunched over, glaring at the TV.

The mother drops her bag on the floor. “How was your day?”

He transfers his glare to her. “Just great!” He jerks up and stomps from the room, punching the wall on his way out. 

The mother sighs heavily. But as she’s about to walk to the kitchen, she stops and stares at her shattered glass-top coffee table. An MVP Trophy lies in the center of the ruin. Tears fill her eyes and she bites her lip.

 

He said his day was “just great.” Obviously, it wasn’t. He feels rejected and angry that his big day was forgotten by the only parent he has. We can see she feels guilt and regret. She sacrificed her son’s big day of getting this prestigious award so a small child’s mother could see one of perhaps many plays.

This is the under text. It isn’t served to the audience on a plate. They must figure it out on their own. On a subliminal level, this makes the reader/viewer feel clever for having figured it out. Although the writer could have done the work for them and written the scene out with a lot of dialogue and argument, it would still be showing. Many times, the understated is best.

Leonardo da Vinci said: Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

As a novelist, we need to kick it up a notch and describe the scene because it isn’t a movie and the reader cannot literally see the characters in action. But if we can start off by doing what a scriptwriter does by just describing the action, then later we can add the bits between. With clever writing, our characters’ actions, emotions and dialogue should have filled in most of the blanks—the things a reader can’t see like a movie-goer can—and we should have a tighter story that is much more powerful.

The Secret to Using Flashbacks

by

Sandy Tritt

 

As writers, we have many tools (or devices) available to us. These devices allow us to do things a normal human cannot do, such as travel in time, know what characters are thinking, and hop from one location to another. However, if we indiscriminately used all the tools all the time, our readers would be so confused they wouldn’t be able to follow the story. Therefore, we try very hard to follow the action line of our story chronologically, revealing what happens in the sequence in which it occurred. We also try to stay with just one character’s thoughts at a time (our viewpoint character), and we limit each scene to one location (unless the viewpoint character is in motion, in which we move with the viewpoint character).

However, there are times when we need to give background information about a character—and there are times when we need to act out that background information. This acting out of something that happened in the past is called a flashback. Since flashbacks interrupt the current action of the story, we must always weigh the advantages against the disadvantages. Are the benefits we receive (a glimpse into a character’s past) worth leaving our characters dangling in time while we go into the past? If so, don’t hesitate to use a flashback. If not, continue with your storyline and find other ways, such as exposition, discussion, etc., to entwine the past with the present.

If you choose to use a flashback, you must follow the secret, unwritten rules by doing two things that will tip the reader that you are leaving the present. First, you must provide a transition statement, such as, “John remembered the day his father died.” Second, you must shift your current story tense to a more distant tense. For example, if your main storyline is in present tense, you’ll need to slip into past tense for the flashback. However, if your main storyline is already in past tense, you’ll need to use past perfect tense (“had”) once or twice. Do note that if your main storyline is in present tense, you should present the entire flashback in past tense. However, if your main storyline is in past tense, you should only use past perfect once or twice. That’s enough to clue your reader that you’re going further in the past, and, by then reverting back to simple past tense, you avoid the clumsiness of remaining in past perfect. 

This combination of transition and tense switch is what lets the reader know they have stepped into the past. So, your job now is to act out the flashback scene with action and dialogue, and, when you are finished, clue the reader that you are returning to the present by using past perfect once or twice (if your main storyline is in past tense). Then, revert to your normal tense, and, if necessary, include another transition sentence (“But that was then and this was now, and John had to let the past stay in the past.”) that further clues the reader the flashback has ended. Here is an example:

            Danny remembered more about his mother’s death than he’d ever told anyone. The day she had died, she had called each of her sons to her bedside individually.

            “Pour me a cup of fresh water, please,” she said, her voice thick with the Polish accent that decorated her words when she was tired or sick.

            Danny filled the cup, careful not to splash it on the bedside table.

            “Now, hand me my lipstick.”

|

|

|

            “Be good,” she finally whispered, her voice raspy.

            He went to the door, started out, then stopped and turned around. His mother tapped several tiny white pills from the lipstick case and shoved them into her mouth. She gulped water, then dumped more pills into her palm and swallowed them. Three more times, she had repeated the process.

            Even now, Danny felt responsible for her death. He looked at his father and swallowed hard . . .

 

As with all devices, it’s imperative you don’t overuse flashbacks. They are spices to be sprinkled lightly, used only when absolutely needed.

If you have questions about any writing craft issue, please leave us a comment and we’ll be happy to address your concern in a future blog. Our editors are professional, published authors who are experienced in all the tricks of the writing trade, and we are here to help you. If you’d like a free sample edit, visit our info page at http://www.inspirationforwriters.com/editing/sample.html. If you’d like more great writing tips, sign up for our newsletter http://www.inspirationforwriters.com/nls/newsletters.html or purchase our Inspiration for Writers Tips and Techniques Workbook at http://www.inspirationforwriters.com/products/workbook.html. Thank you.