Interview with Author Emma Broch Stuart

by

Wendy Chorot

New author Emma Broch Stuart (aka IFW Editor Wendy Chorot) shares her passion for seeing women and men released from bondage and healed from relational wounds. Her newly released book, Broken Umbrellas, takes the reader on her personal journey from the pit of despair and brokenness to the healing arms of Jesus. Along the way, she allows the reader an intimate look into the relationship baggage she hauled around most of her life—even crossing the Atlantic with it—before surrendering to God’s radical healing.


1. Tell us a little more about your nonfiction.

Once upon a time, brokenness claimed so many areas of my life, and every one of those areas were relational in nature: bitterness and shame from past intimate relationships; wounds and scars from abuse; insecurities from relating with women I felt had it together when I did not; feelings of failure as a mother. It was all relationship stuff. When I realized that humanity tries to relate with one another in spite of their brokenness, God asked me to write about my own personal struggle with broken areas of my life. And voilà! Broken Umbrellas was born.


2. What was the driving force behind writing Broken Umbrellas?

This is a good question. I feel most people are really bad at one thing in life like sports, or math, or sewing. For me it was relationships. Even becoming a Christian didn’t save me from a broken marriage. And I kept asking myself, “Why can’t I get this right?” And God showed me that when we have unhealthy hearts, we have unhealthy relationships. (That goes for friendship relationships, too.) Then he took me on an incredible 13-month journey that healed me in the most radical way. I wrote Broken Umbrellas because I don’t believe I’m the only one who has struggled with relationships.


3. What do you want your readers to take away from reading your book?

Hope. Pure and simple, yet profound hope. Hope for all their hurting relationships and a desire to be healed, healthy individuals. I want my readers to see—and believe—that God is bigger than any brokenness they have suffered or caused. And I pray Broken Umbrellas is a tool to bring my readers into a deeper knowing of God, the only one who can heal them.


4. What writing projects are you working on now?

I’m working with WhiteFire Publishing on a fun and inspiring piece called Barn Doors. Barn Doors is a collection of short stories about everyday life and how God speaks to me . . . and how I hear him. It releases next spring.

I also have a children’s series with DeWard Publishing called The Keeper Series. “The Windkeeper” is the first in the series and looks to be ready for this fall. An illustrator has it as we speak, bringing my words to colorful life. “The Starkeeper” will follow, and “The Rainkeeper” will complete the series. One way God speaks to me is through the pages of his Word, and I incorporate that into these stories.


5. Where can readers learn more about your book?

Broken Umbrellas is for sale on Amazon in paperback and Kindle version, which you can find HERE.


6. How can readers connect with you?

I LOVE connecting with people! Readers can find my blog on my website: http://emmabrochstuart.com/

They can also find updates on my Facebook author page:
https://www.facebook.com/emmabrochstuart

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/EmmaBrochStuart

Or by emailing me:
emmabrochstuart@gmail.com


7. Where did you get the name Broken Umbrellas?

At my precious grandson’s funeral, I spotted a broken blue umbrella flapping in the winter wind. The woman holding it was oblivious to the fact that snow was falling on her. When she moved her broken umbrella to offer protection to the man beside her, my heart was overwhelmed with the symbolism of humanity doing the same thing—“protecting” (or loving, serving, relating) in spite of our brokenness.


8. Tell us about living overseas.

I credit a lot of who I am today on my experiences in Europe. There’s something about getting out of your comfort zone that forces you to relate differently, engage in the world around you at a different level. And most importantly, see beyond yourself. I have dipped my toes in the Mediterranean, hiked mountains in the French Alps, drank wine with my baguette and cheese, breastfed under the Eiffel Tower, and made a complete fool of myself many times as I butchered the language. I have been misunderstood, ignored, lost in a big city, and served fish with the head still attached. But I have also been kissed by complete strangers, given free bus rides when I didn’t have exact change, served delicious cuisine, and most importantly, blessed with knowing Christ at a deeper level. My daughter was born there, my first grandchild buried there, and, while there, I collected more than a decade of memories—both good and bad. 

Living in a foreign country shows you just how strong you really are.


9. Why did you choose to write under a penname?

Because Broken Umbrellas gives the reader a very intimate and vulnerable look at my past, I chose to write under a penname out of respect for the people I speak about. Of course, I did not have to, and if any of them were to read my book, I have written it in a respectful way that they should not take offense. And I have decided to keep my penname for all of my writing projects. The name Emma Broch Stuart is very special to me; it is the middle name of each of my three children.



As a bonus to this beautiful interview, Emma Broch Stuart is giving away a free copy of Broken Umbrellas to one of you! All you have to do to qualify is leave a comment on this blog. Next Monday, a winner will be randomly selected and contacted by Jessica Nelson (in the form of a reply to his/her comment in this blog) with further information about how to collect his/her prize.

Thank you again to Emma Broch Stuart (and Wendy Chorot) for granting this beautifully poignant interview!

 

Grammar 101: Grammar Jargon

by

Jessica Nelson

The world of editing and writing is fraught with fancy-schmancy jargon and technical terms. We learned many of these years ago in our English classes. We know what they are and how they are used—we just forget what they are called. So, today I am giving you a crash course in grammar jargon with help from the IFW editors and The Little, Brown Essential Handbook by Jane E. Aaron.

First, we will start with classic grammar terms no one actually remembers despite using them almost every day.

 

Gerunds: the –ing form of a verb used as a noun; usually proceeded by a possessive noun/pronoun. Ex. My husband is annoyed by my nightly snoring.

Present participle: the –ing form of a verb (and used as a verb). Ex. Since the weather is nice, Susie is working in the garden today.

Past participle: the –ed form of a verb. Ex. Rhonda graded so many undergraduate composition papers that she lost her faith in humanity’s ability to write correctly.

Ellipsis: a series of three periods, each separated by a space; looks like “. . .”; used to denote an omission of words, phrases, or entire sentences in nonfiction, and, in fiction, denotes the trailing off of a thought or a long pause. If the ellipsis occurs at the end of a sentence, the sentence-ending period is also included, creating a series of four periods separated by spaces (“. . . .”). Ex. Leila looked at the giant red F on the top of her paper. “But . . . I thought I did well . . .”

Comma splice: when two main clauses are joined (or spliced) only by a comma, rather than a comma and conjunction. Ex. We loved the movie, the actors were okay. Should be: We loved the movie, but the actors were okay.

Homophone: words that sound exactly alike but have different meanings. Ex. principal/principle. The former is the head of administration at a school. The latter is “a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption” (Definitions curtesy of Merriam-Webster online).

Homonym: a word that has multiple, different meanings. Ex. “fair.” We had an excellent time at the fair. vs. It’s not fair that my brother always gets what he wants.

Indefinite pronoun: a word that replaces a noun but does not refer to a specific person or thing; may be plural (e.g. both, few, many), plural or singular (e.g. all, any, none, some), or only singular (e.g. anyone, everyone, someone).

Misplaced modifier: A modifier modifies the noun closest to it. A modifier is considered misplaced if it modifies a different noun in a sentence. Ex. Ginger ate potatoes, mushrooms, and rice for dinner, lying on the sofa. “Lying on the sofa” is misplaced. As written, it modifies “dinner,” but it should modify Ginger. To correct, we’d write: Lying on the sofa, Ginger ate potatoes, mushrooms, and rice for dinner.

Dangling modifier: doesn’t sensibly modify anything in its sentence; may imply a subject, but does not explicitly name one, making the actual subject unclear. Ex. Walking down the street, the renovations to the neighborhood became apparent. This should say: As we walked down the street, the renovations to the neighborhood became apparent.

Synecdoche: figurative language that uses a part to represent the whole. Ex. using “the crown” to represent the monarchy or “a dollar” to represent money.

 

Now, we’re going to explain some terms you may have never heard before. That said, I’m sure you’ll be surprised to find you know what they are.

 

Bildungsroman: a coming-of-age story. Ex. pretty much any YA or teen novel.

Pastiche: a patchwork story; pieces taken from other authors’ works; generally refers to a paper with plagiarized parts. Ex. This blog (sort of), which uses term definitions from The Little, Brown Handbook, Merriam-Webster, and the lovely ladies at Inspiration for Writers, Inc., is a pastiche.

Head-hopping: a type of point of view breach; when the viewpoint character changes within a scene without first having a transition and invitation to foster that change; in the words of Sandy Tritt, “All head-hops are point-of-view breaches, but not all point-of-view breaches are head-hops. (If you would like more information about this, we are happy to send our tip sheet on “Point of View,” which also includes ways to avoid head-hopping.) Ex. Mike sat on the bench and wondered where his future would lead. To the army? To college? To that hot barista’s apartment? Jack stared at Mike’s melting ice cream cone, and wondered how hard Mike would punch him for stealing it.

 

Any of this ringing a bell? I hope so! Hopefully, next time you sit down with a writing buddy or one of our editors, and he/she starts jargon dropping, you’ll be able to keep up.

Was this helpful? Are there other grammar/literature/writing terms you know you know but don’t know what they’re called? Or any you want us to explain?  Let us know in the comments, and maybe we’ll do another blog like this one.

Editing Companies EXPOSED

by

Sandy Tritt

 



As the owner of a small editing company, I sometimes scope out our competition to see what they are doing and to make certain we’re competitive. I’ll have to admit, I’ve gotten lazy about this during the last few years, but I recently Googled “fiction editor” and “manuscript editing” and a few other related terms to see who was appearing and what they were offering. And I was shocked. Literally, jaw-dropping, oh-my-goodness, I-can’t-believe-this shock. 

 

The last time I did market research was during the recent recession. At that time, I was surprised at the number of pop-up editing companies. It seemed that many writers who’d lost their day jobs decided to give editing a whirl. They put up a quick website, undercut the experienced editors, and became fly-by-night “editors.” Most of these companies have since gone out of business. So, Valuable Tip Number One: Before you send your work—and definitely before you send your money—check to be sure the company is still in business. 

 

The time before that, my shocking discovery was the number of corporations who assigned editing jobs to the lowest bidder. Unfortunately, there are still a few of these companies out there. If your edit is going to the lowest bidder, I can almost guarantee that you’re not getting a quality job. Valuable Tip Number Two: Whenever a company is more vested in the number of words an editor has edited and the speed with which this editor edits, you can be sure that quality is not the focus. 

 

But this time, I discovered a new low, and it’s all from one “first” company. This “first” company is very aggressive in marketing. Four of the top Google placement ads led directly to their site, and a number of others did so indirectly. I am also bombarded by their pop-up ads and feature ads on just about every website that sells advertising. They must harvest emails, because immediately after I visited the site, I started receiving offers and discounts—several the first few days, and now two a day. The site itself is a bit like a used car lot. There are flashing pop-ups with live editors just waiting to “chat” with you. There are free samples—as many as you want. They promise “superior quality, incredible speed, and LOW prices.” And they GUARANTEE your satisfaction! Sounds too good to be true. Which leads us to Valuable Tip Number Three: If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

 

A little more research on their site revealed they edit the following “genres”:  

• Novel Editing
• Fiction Editing
• Non-Fiction Editing
• Book Editing Services
• First Time Author
• Christian Editing
• Black Genre Editing

  

Yeah. Last time I checked, a novel is fiction. And I don’t have a clue as to which category I’d select if I were a first-time author of Black-genre Christian fiction (what is, by the way, “Black Genre”?). Worse, I clicked on the sample edits provided on their website. First, they missed obvious typos and errors. Worse, they suggested changes in direct opposition to good writing practices. And, perhaps most alarming: the sample edit was done in a version of non-English Word. That’s right. It was a Swedish version of Word. Which tells me the editor was likely not a native English speaker.

 

Despite the annoying pop-ups, I continued to explore the site. They are aggressively searching for more editors. What are the requirements to edit for them? Well, here’s the list (and note that if you don’t meet the requirements of the first item, you just keep dropping down the list until you match one of the criteria):  

1. Extensive professional editing experience with solid references from previous employers 
2. A doctorate degree
3. Advanced education - Masters, Bachelors, specific editing courses, proofreading certification, etc. 
4. Affiliation, membership, or participation with editing organizations, writing associations, etc. 
5. An international location which serves a time zone outside of the continental North American market, especially those editors located in New Zealand, Australia, Alaska, or Hawaii 

 

If you still don’t meet their standards, don’t worry. Go ahead and apply anyway. These are just suggestions.  

 

After wiping the dirt off my hands and continuing my research, I clicked on the next Google ad for editing services. This one looked like a decent site. It showed an actual photograph of a real person editing. But when I clicked on a few of the links, something frightening happened: I was back on the website of the “first” editing company. Yes. The one I’m wailing about above. It so happens there are several freelance editors who belong to the “first” family of editing.  

 

By now, I was horrified. So, I followed my own Valuable Tip Number Four: When you want to know the truth about something related to writing, visit the Absolute Write Water Cooler. More specifically, I went to http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=262403. If you’re suffering from low blood pressure and need to get your blood pumping and your arteries compressing, I encourage you to visit this page about “first” editors. 

 

The bottom line: there are still a number of independent, devoted editors out there who are traditionally published with a higher-education degree in writing, editing, or English, who charge a reasonable rate to give you a personal and professional job. Any editing company that doesn’t show photographs of the actual editors—and their individual qualifications—is most likely hiding something. Be sure to do your research, and hire an editing company that has integrity. Valuable Tip Number Five: Before hiring an editor, Google the editor by name and by company name. See how vested the editor is in the writing community. Does he/she have books available? Give writing workshops? Speak at writing conferences? 

 

It is important to hire a professional editor to review your work before you submit it. Please do your homework and choose one who is qualified—one who will make your work better, not worse.  

 

We are here for you. Give us a shout at IFWeditors@gmail.com.

 

 

Body Language of the Arms, Hands, Feet, and Posture

by

Charlotte Firbank-King

Welcome back! This is part three of a three-part series discussing body language and how we can use it to strengthen our writing. If you’ve missed either of our earlier articles, you may want to stop, go back, and read them first. They can be found here and here.

In today’s blog, we’re discussing the body language of the hands, arms, feet, and posture. Once we realize we should use action and body language instead of dialogue tags, our natural tendency is to concentrate on the face, saying things like “he smiled” or “he frowned” or “he laughed.” So, your challenge today: First, go through your manuscript and highlight every time you’ve used one of the “easy” descriptors: smiled, grinned, laughed, frowned, grimaced, nodded, shrugged, and so forth. Then, replace those easy words with something more complex. This is where a study in body language will help. We have more than just the face to look at. It’s the entire body that tells us what we need to know. So, without further ado, let’s look at the body language relating to emotions.

Body Language of the Arms

Crossed arms are one of the “easy” actions we overuse in writing. However, it can still be effective, as long as it’s not overused. Crossed arms indicates the individual is closing himself to social influence. Some people habitually cross their arms, which may indicate the person is slightly reserved, uncomfortable with his appearance, self-conscious and trying to cover it, or just trying to hide something on his clothes, such as a stain or a tear. Crossed arms do not always reflect a defensive stance. Sometimes, especially if the legs are also splayed, it can indicate the person is aggressive, with a feeling of superiority or power. If arms are crossed while the feet are shoulder width or wider apart, toughness or authority is indicated. Crossed arms may also mean that a person is angry but trying not to show it.

If someone rubs his hands together or touches or strokes his own body, he may be comforting or soothing himself. This could be because he’s sad or upset over a recent event, or it could mean he isn’t enjoying the current situation.

If someone rests his arms behind his neck or head, he is open to what is being discussed—or, he may be just laid-back in general.

Exaggerated movements of the hands or arms can show passion or interest in a subject.

Body Language of the Hands

There are many ways in which hand gestures can help us understand what a person (or character) really means. Some of these gestures are learned—such as the classic “thumbs up” or “giving the finger” or using the index finger as the “we are number one” sign. But others are natural reflexes that can help us communicate more effectively.

A character with his palms slightly up and outward shows openness and friendliness. However, if he holds his palms down, he is likely to be dominant or possibly aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. Hands up and palms out as in “I give up” is literally that, if both hands are used. One hand, palm up and facing the speaker may be “enough!”

A firm handshake gives the impression of assertiveness or honesty; too firm is arrogant or challenging.

Hands placed on the heart show sincerity. However, since this is one of the better known gestures, it can sometimes be used as a deliberate action to deceive. 

Hands clasped at the midriff show subservience. 

Hands clasped behind the back can mean a person is confident. However, the person may be deliberately clasping his hands behind his back in order to appear confident or to avoid using them in an illustrative manner. Military people often stand like this out of habit.

Hands on the hips shows anger, defiance, and impatience.

Hands that are closed or clenched can represent irritation, anger, or nervousness. 

Pregnant women may put their hands on their stomachs if they feel threatened, indicating a desire to protect the unborn child.

If a stomach is churning with fear or excitement, the individual may put his hands on his stomach to quell the emotion. Butterflies in the tummy are an increase in adrenaline.

Frequent reaching forwards or superfluous hand gestures can mean that someone is trying to convince another person of something. The exact meaning of these gestures will depend largely on context.

If someone brushes his hair back with his fingers, this may be preening, a common gesture if the person is attracted to someone.

A character could touch his hair in a flicking manner if his thoughts conflict with another person. He may never speak a word of disagreement, but raised eyebrows combined with this action probably means he disagrees with the person.

Twisting hair is generally a nervous action.

Running fingers through hair or rubbing the back of their neck usually indicates irritation or exasperation in a situation.

When a person taps his fingers on something, it's usually a sign of excitement or impatience.

If a person wears glasses and is constantly pushing them up onto his nose with a slight frown, it may also indicate he disagrees with what a person is saying—unless, of course, it’s a habit or the glasses don’t fit properly.

Lowered eyebrows and narrowed eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on. It's usually skeptical. This is presuming the character is not trying to observe something that's far away.

Body Language of the Feet

Tapping quickly, shifting weight, laughing, or moving the foot will most often mean the person is impatient, excited, nervous, scared, or intimidated. The surrounding context will need to provide the clues as to which emotion is being conveyed.

If a person is talking to someone and both feet face the speaker the listener is interested. If one foot is pointed away from the speaker, the listener doesn’t want to be there; he is eager to leave. This is just an interesting aside and would be too complicated to use in a story.

If someone taps his foot while another talks, he may have a desire to leave. Context will tell us if he needs to leave because of another appointment or if he’s frustrated with the person speaking. This behavior usually manifests when the person is anxious to get somewhere. 

If a couple’s legs or feet touch while flirting, tapping of a foot could be interpreted as nervous excitement. If they’re uncomfortable, they would discreetly move away from the contact, a much more subtle escape than telling the person to move away.

If a person is sitting, feet crossed at the ankles, he is generally at ease.

If, while standing, a person keeps his feet close together, he may be trying to be "proper" in some way. Sometimes feet close together conveys a feeling of submissiveness or passiveness.

If someone purposely touches another person’s feet, it’s likely he is flirting. However, if he knows the person well and other people are present, it may be a warning nudge.

So, there you have it. Lots of ways to add depth to your characters, get rid of dialogue tags and meaningless expressions, and bring your writing up another level.

If you’ve done everything you can to make your manuscript the best it can be, send it to our editors at IFWeditors@gmail.com. We can give you an honest evaluation and show you more ways to improve your writing.

Body Language of the Head and Face

by

Charlotte Firbank-King



Last week, we discussed the body language of deception. This week, we will discuss the body language of the face and head, and next week, we will discuss the body language of hands, arms, feet, and posture. As we mentioned last week, the use of body language will greatly strengthen your reader’s understanding of your characters.


Body Language of the Face

The Mouth—Oh, Those Smiles

Smiling is one of the most complex of all movements. Over eighty facial muscles are involved in smiling, and there are many different types of smiles. Let’s take a look . . . .

A lopsided smile can mean a person is teasing or mocking. If  the skin at the middle, outside corner of the eyes have no crinkles, the smile is probably fake. Authentic smiles peak or change rapidly from a small facial movement to a broad open expression.

A slow smile can be flirtatious, indicating an attempt to seduce, especially if combined with sultry eyes.

If the corners of the mouth go up ever so slightly, it could mean the person is mocking or even challenging.

A tentative half-smile usually means nervousness, uncertainty or insecurity.

Other Emotions Shown with the Mouth:

Sometimes pursed lips—which usually signify disapproval—can twist to the side when people are thinking. However, this can be an intentional movement to hide an emotion or to deceive. Pursed lips that twist and pull to one side can show self-depreciation.

Of course, if the corners of the mouth go down, forming a frown, the mouth's owner is likely unhappy, especially if her lips are full and plump, forming a pout. However, if the lips are taut, the owner is more likely angry.

If lips are pressed tightly together, the person is likely defiant, angry or disapproving.

Biting the lip or sucking the bottom lip between one’s teeth usually shows uncertainty or embarrassment, but if the lips quirk up slightly at the corners, it could show suppressed humor.

If one side of the mouth goes up and the other side down, the person is probably scowling, although, if the eyes look happy, it could mean they are teasing.

If a person presses his tongue against his mouth, he probably is not interested.

Body Language of the Eyes:

Looking sideways often means the person is distrustful or unconvinced.

When a person closes his eyes longer than the time it takes to blink, it usually indicates that he is reining in his temper, is stressed, is alarmed, or feels despair. Simply closing the eyes can also be a way to “close” someone or something out, such as bad news.

If someone looks down at the floor a lot, he is probably shy or timid. If he keeps his eyes down, he could be showing submission. People also tend to look down when upset or when trying to hide something that affects them emotionally. When they are thinking and feeling unpleasant emotions (including guilt), they will often stare at the ground.

In Western culture, looking someone in the eyes usually means trustworthiness and openness. However, in some cultures, this same action is a sign of disrespect or is done only with family and close friends.

Eyes that are focused in the distance can mean the person is in deep thought—or that he’s just not listening.

Other Emotions Displayed with the Face:

If the jaw is jutted forward, the person is showing defiance, belligerence, or anger.

If a muscle twitches in the cheek or jaw, the teeth are probably clenched, which, of course, means suppressed anger.

Body Language of the Head

A dropped head can mean many things, depending upon other signs available. For example, if the eyes are narrowed, it could mean suspicion or suppressed anger. But if the eyes skitter around or if the lashes slowly lower, it could mean submission, coyness, or dishonesty.

Likewise, having a raised head can mean many things. If the head is raised and the eyes are angry and the mouth set, it could mean the person is defiant or offended. If the mouth also twitches, it could be an indication of inner distress. If the eyes are hooded and the mouth pressed firm, it could mean fearless anger. If they eyes flash, it could show defiance. If the eyes are normally rounded, the person could be amused or simply not feeling any strong emotion.

If the head is tilted to one side, it could mean the person is listening attentively, is curious, or is interested in the conversation or whatever is happening.

If the head is pulled back while tilted, it can show disbelief or suspicion.

Nodding, of course, means “yes,” and shaking the head means “no.” When these actions contradict the words being spoken, others should notice, as this signifies something isn’t right. The person is either lying or trying to deceive on some level, or is uncertain or uncomfortable.

Conclusion

I hope you learned something from this article. Next week we will discuss the body language of the hands and feet.

Here’s a challenge: go through your manuscript and replace every dialogue tag with an action or body language. Doing just this one thing will make your writing much more engaging. Try it.

The Body Language of Deception

by

Charlotte Firbank-King

Body language is must-have knowledge in a writer’s arsenal of writing tools. It’s important to understand that people communicate through body language, whether intentionally or not. Studies have shown how important body language and tone are when people speak face-to-face. Therefore, if you expect dialogue—your character’s words—alone to communicate his emotional state to your reader, you’re expecting way too much. It’s critically important to replace those ho-hum dialogue tags (he said/she said) with body language or action. Let your reader see the way the speaker’s fist is clenched when he talks or the way a character’s head tilts toward her lover. Those are the clues your reader needs to figure out what is really going on.

I strongly recommend picking up one of the many books on body language and keeping it with your other reference books. Body language can a great array of emotions, and we couldn’t possibly cover all of them in one blog article. Therefore, we’ll talk today about the body language of deception.

The Body Language of Liars

A liar will often cover his mouth, as though to keep the deceitful words inside. He may lick his lips or giggle, and, when he speaks, he may hesitate, stutter, or slur, or, he may have an overly controlled tone. Most liars will speak with less inflection, tending toward a monotone. When asked a direct question, he may repeat the question, or say, “Do you think that I would do this?” or state his opinion on the subject—which is likely to be violently opposed to any such activity that he’s being asked about—instead of directly answering the question. For example, if asked if he mowed over the daisies, he’d say, “There’s no excuse for sloppy mowing. Mowers should be aware of what they are doing at all times.” He’s also likely to hesitate before answering, especially if asked a question for which he’s unprepared. 

Liars will normally avoid eye contact. Some liars are aware that this will give them away, so they will instead force eye contact, which feels unnatural. Pupils constrict when their owner lies, which may be why liars blink rapidly. They may glance away or glance sideways. 

A liar wants to be invisible—or, at the least, take up as little space as possible and not draw attention to himself. Therefore, he may have an overly stiff posture with controlled movement, and his hands and leg movements are toward his body core, not outward. 

In some people, the hands may be animated, as though the extra movement can help move the words through the air with added integrity. However, a liar will not cover his heart with his hand—that is, unless he’s aware this is a sign of being open and honest, and he does it to deceive. An honest person will often have a hand that is turned up, with the palm exposed, while a liar will keep his hand clenched or his palm down. A liar’s hands may touch his face, throat and mouth, or touch or scratch his nose, upper lip, or behind his ear.

Emotional Gestures and Contradictions of Liars

When someone tries to deceive, the timing may be off between the emotional gestures/expressions and spoken words. For example, a character may say, "I love it!" when receiving a gift, but then smiles after making that statement, rather than at the same time. The gestures/expressions may also fail to match the words spoken, such as smiling when saying “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” or shaking the head while saying, “Yes, I’ll take care of that for you.”

Expressions are limited to mouth movements instead of involving the entire face when faking emotions. For example, when someone smiles naturally, his whole face is involved. He has jaw/cheek movement, his eyes light up, and his skin crinkles at the corners. A liar’s eyes remain expressionless when he smiles.

Interactions and Reactions

A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away. He may unconsciously place an object, such as a book or a newspaper, between himself and the other person, or he may move objects around, indicating discomfort.

If an accuser believes someone is lying, he should change the subject quickly. A liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed; the deceiver is relieved the subject changed. An innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topic and try to return to the previous subject.

Final Notes on Lying

These are just a few of the body language clues that a deceiver may use. In fact, entire books have been written on just this one area—on the body language of a liar or how to identify a liar, so it’s a subject that can be studied in-depth. 

It’s also important to note that when trying to clue your reader that a character is lying, the character should respond in a way that is not normal for him. And, of course, just because a character exhibits one or more of these signs does not make him a liar. 

If a character is a psychopath, these indicators may possibly not apply—psychopaths have no real conscience, and therefore do not have the guilt that causes many of the reactions listed here. Some psychopaths may even be cunning enough to behave in an acceptable manner—and are good enough actors to get by with it.

Writing is a craft with much to learn. We encourage you to sign up for our newsletters, this blog, and glean our website for the many tips offered there. We’re also here to help you along the way. Just shoot us off an email at IFWeditors@gmail.com. We’re here.

Don't Traumatize Your Reader

by

Sandy Tritt

Did you ever think about what happens to an unsuspecting reader when a scene changes? He’s been comfortable, hanging around and experiencing your story, aware of where he is, when he is, and through whose eyes he’s seeing/hearing/feeling things, when all of a sudden one scene ends and another begins. Your poor reader is snatched out of his comfort zone, zoomed through time and space, and is plunged into a new scene. God—er, um, YOU, only know where he is now. He may crash into the same physical space he’s just vacated—or he may end up across the globe or even in a new galaxy. Five seconds may have passed—or ten days or a dozen centuries. Even more jolting, he could now be seeing and hearing and smelling through a different body.

It’s an extremely unsettling experience. That is, unless you, the Creator of this world the reader is visiting, are experienced enough and thoughtful enough to guide him through the trauma. Oh, my! Did you even know you had this humongous responsibility? Well, you do now.

Within the first few sentences of a new scene, your reader needs to know several things, including:

1. Whose eyes he’s now seeing things through (if you employ a single viewpoint character throughout the manuscript, this is not necessary)
2. Who is present
3. What our characters look like (this is something that we usually sprinkle throughout a story, receiving bits and pieces of information as we go and is more or less important depending upon genre).
4. Where he is in general—such as the city, state, country. If this general location has not been visited previously, we may need more information, such as if it’s rural, big city, etc.
5. Location, specific: if inside, where he is, such as in a living room or inside a diner. If outside, if he’s in a vehicle, hiking, etc.
6. Time period: the decade he’s in. (If this does not change throughout the manuscript, you do not need to re-establish this).
7. Time of year: spring, summer, fall, winter—or actual month
8. General time of day: morning, afternoon, evening, night
9. Weather, if it affects the story in any way (and it usually does)

Additionally, the reader may need to know the date or the day of week, as well as any historically relevant happenings on that day. For example, if this scene occurs on September 11, 2001, and no mention is made of the collapse of the twin towers, your reader is going to question your integrity. I call providing this information grounding your reader, as it allows your reader to simply relax and become a part of the story instead of floating around in space, desperately trying to figure out where and when he is and through whose eyes he’s seeing.

If it were not for the First Commandment of Writing—Thou Must Show, Not Tell, we’d just open each scene with a recitation of all the necessary facts. But, instead, we must be artistic about it. We must not just give all the information, but we must sprinkle it around and create amazing prose with conflict and suspense while doing so.  The goal is to create a picture the readers can imagine in their minds. They must be able to envision where the action is happening, who is present, and what is going on. This balancing act of feeding information to your reader while maintaining interest is not easy.

Here’s an example from one of my novels, The Mistress of Gambel Hill:

Ray maneuvered between a cocktail waitress balancing a tray of drinks and a couple entwined in each other’s arms.

“Think we can fit them all in?” Gary waited on the stage with a handful of neatly-stacked requests.

Ray grabbed his brother’s arm and used it as a boost to step up onto the stage. “Yeah. And I gotta add another one before I forget.” He took a pen from his pocket and scribbled the blonde’s request on one of the notes. “Let’s get going.” He went to his stool in the center front and tuned his guitar. A line of cocktails sent by happy customers waited on the table next to him. He looked into the crowd. The stage lights glared back at him. “Glad y’all stuck around,” his deep voice boomed into the microphone. “We’re gonna get to all your requests before—”

He hadn’t checked that his brothers had taken their places. He glanced over his shoulder to his left. Danny, his youngest brother, wasn’t behind the drum set. Instead, Joey’s long arms waited over the drums, his waist-length hair draped over his slender shoulders, a smile teasing his hair-covered lips.

            Ray scratched his goatee and looked behind him. Gary sat at Joey’s keyboard, his bass guitar leaning against his chair. Danny wasn’t on stage.

What do we learn from the opening paragraphs of this scene?

1. Ray is our viewpoint character. We’re going to be seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, and thinking through him.
2. We are in a crowded bar.
3. Ray and Gary are on a stage. They are brothers. They have a band.
4. Ray sits on a stool center stage, plays guitar, and is the speaker for the group. He also drinks. A lot.
5. Ray’s brothers Danny and Joey are also in the band.
6. Joey is tall and slender with long hair and facial hair. He normally plays keyboard, but right now, he’s playing the drums.
7. Ray has a goatee.
8. Gary normally plays bass guitar, but he’s playing keyboard.
9. We have a problem—in addition to all those drinks waiting to be swallowed. Danny is missing. Because his brothers have switched instruments and are smiling, we’re pretty sure everyone but Ray is in on what is about to happen. But something is about to happen.

We need to talk about item number one above. How does the reader know so quickly that Ray is our viewpoint character? This is important. He knows Ray is the viewpoint character because Ray is the first character mentioned by name. Your reader will subconsciously assume the first character mentioned will be the viewpoint character. So you must do your part and honor this agreement by mentioning your viewpoint character’s name before anyone else’s.

If a scene takes place in the same location or shortly after the previous scene, it isn’t necessary to give this information, as the reader will assume it. However, you must always let the reader know who is present in the scene. Few things are more unsettling than having a character suddenly pop into a conversation without knowing the character was even present.

One thing I do to help me remember everything I need to remember is to type all the information—the date, day of the week, location, weather, historical facts, and anything else pertinent—right into my manuscript, at the beginning of the scene. I keep it there until I’m ready to submit. And, then, of course, I save a copy with all that important information in it. That way, if I need to change the sequence of the scenes or make other changes, I’ll know to also change the pertinent facts within a scene.

Another way to do this is to create a scene overview document.  We have such a worksheet in our Tips and Techniques Workbook. How you track it yourself is far less important than that you get it right in your manuscript.

Writing is not easy. There is so much information that must reach the reader, but it must be done without an “info dump.” Study good fiction and the works of accomplished writers. Pay attention to the first few paragraphs of each scene. Notice how the writer feeds information to the reader without seeming as if that’s the goal. In fact, as an exercise, write down the information that is gleaned from a scene, as we did in our example above. It could be an eye opener for when you’re wondering how you can possibly provide so much information and still be entertaining.

If you need help with this—or with any of the elements of fiction or nonfiction—please just shoot us off an email at IFWeditors@gmail.com. We’re here, and we’re always happy to help.

How a No-Good Normal Person Became a Writer

by

Sandy Tritt

I thought I was a good writer. All through school and college, I got A’s in English and Creative Writing and the dozens of literature classes that filled my schedule. My friends all said I was a good writer. People I didn’t know made positive comments about my stories, and I even got a few of them published in local and state journals. 

And then, in the early nineties, I entered the West Virginia Writers Annual Competition for Novels. I won second place, which came with a nice certificate and a check for $150. And it came with a bonus—Mr. D, the judge of the event that year, critiqued the winning entries. Excited, I jumped to the back page to see his overview comments. He said, “You write well—for a normal person. The problem is, you don’t want to be a normal person. You want to be a writer. And you have a lot to learn before you can be a writer.” 

Say what? Even though tears had already started stinging my eyes, I had to re-read his comment to make sure I hadn’t misread. And that was exactly what he’d said. Your writing sucks.

It was late—probably eleven p.m.—the awards program had followed a too-long banquet with a mouthy keynote speaker—and I had to drive home, about fifty minutes away. “You have a lot to learn before you can be a writer” hit me at every milepost, at every traffic light, at every pothole. The words burned not only my eyes, but my heart. I would never write again. Never. I was an imposter, a no-good normal person who could never cross the realm to live in the world of real writers. 

The girls were already in bed when I got home, but my husband was waiting up. He met me with, “What’s wrong?” I tearfully showed him the indictment. You have a lot to learn before you can be a writer. 

Butch just shrugged. “What don’t you write him and ask him what he means by that?” He kissed me and went to bed. 

Do what? There was no question what he meant. You are not a writer. 

By Monday, I had gone through my manuscript. There were many places where he’d made comments such as, “Stop right here. Go get a dictionary and look up the word ‘melodrama.’ That’s what this is. Melodrama. And it doesn’t make the reader feel anything—except the need to vomit” or “What makes you think putting an exclamation mark here makes your story more exciting? If your reader can’t feel the urgency by the words you’ve written, you’re not going to make them feel it by using a whole row of exclamation marks.” But there were other places where he wrote things like, “Now this is fine writing.” Or “This is the way to write it! Good job!”

On Tuesday, I typed a letter out to Mr. D. I thanked him for the critique of my manuscript, and I asked him if he’d be willing to look at a rewrite of the scene he’d chastised as being a melodramatic mess. Surprisingly, a week or so later, I received a letter back (no email back then). He graciously invited me to send him the scene. And a mentorship was born.

For the next two years, I sent scene after scene to Mr. D, and he returned them promptly with comments and encouragements. He gave me reading assignments. He suggested craft books. I coveted every word he said, and I worked hard to understand concepts I’d never given a lot of thought to before. Narrative Voice. Point of View. Denouement. But, more than anything, I learned how to control character emotion. I learned how to make the reader supply the emotion instead of exhausting it all with melodrama. I learned how to write. 

I left the sphere of normal people (which, to be truthful, I never quite fit in anyway) and entered the world of writers. For, you see, you’re not born with the title writer. It isn’t like eye color or skin tone or ancestry. It isn’t a gift. It’s something you learn, something you earn.


Do you want to be a writer? We’d love to be your bridge between the world of normal people and the world of writers. All you have to do is shoot us an email at IFWeditors@gmail.com. Chat soon!

Ins and Outs of the Oxford Comma

by

Jessica Nelson



 

 

If any of you quirked an eyebrow when you read this title and asked yourself, “What is an ‘Oxford comma’?” don’t worry. The first time someone mentioned the Oxford comma to me, I had to ask for an explanation, because I had never heard of it before.

The Oxford comma is what most non-grammar-nerds know as the serial comma. That’s the comma that comes before the “and” in a list. (FUN FACT: I recently learned it is called the Oxford comma because it was primarily used by the printers, editors, and readers at the Oxford University Press. Its use is first mentioned—as far as my research has shown me—in the 1905 edition of the OUP Style Guide). Here’s an example of the Oxford comma:

My favorite authors are Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King, and Mary Shelley.

(Not really, but you get the idea.)

Now, I could omit the Oxford comma and say:

My favorite authors are Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King and Mary Shelley.

The advantage of the Oxford comma is its ability to clear up ambiguous sentences. I know when I read a sentence that contains a list and there isn’t an Oxford comma, I tend to pair the last two items together, the same way most people pair “peanut butter and jelly.” We don’t always think of them as two separate items, but as things that go together. Then, I always expect there to be another item to the list, because, for me, the list isn’t over until I’ve seen “, and.”

Let me give you an example.

For lunch, Mrs. Jones put out a veggie platter, milk and peanut butter sandwiches.

The way I read that, without the Oxford comma, the sandwiches are made of bread, peanut butter, and milk. That just sounds gross—and soggy.

By adding the Oxford comma, it becomes clear that milk is a separate item offered (hopefully, served in some kind of cup). For that reason, I am a proponent of the Oxford comma.

Some style guides mandate the use of the Oxford comma and others prohibit it. This Wikipedia page has a section of “Recommendations by Style Guides” (Section Four, if you’re using the hotlinks in the Contents at the top page) that might be helpful if you aren’t sure if you need to use it. Here’s a quick hint: the Modern Language Association (MLA), the Chicago Manual of Style—the preferred style for fiction writing—and The Elements of Style all support the use of the Oxford comma.

If you don’t know if the style guide you are using encourages or discourages the use of the Oxford comma, or—if you are like me—you don’t know which style guide you are using, make a decision about whether or not you want to use the Oxford comma, then do so consistently. However, if you have chosen not to use the Oxford comma, be sure to read all your list-containing sentences carefully. If the clarity of the sentence is ever in doubt, add the Oxford comma. It can’t hurt.

What is your stance in this heated debate? We’re curious to know. Leave your thoughts in the comments below or on our Facebook page.

Top Ten Writing Tips

by

Sandy Tritt

 

 

1. Get it on paper. Once you’ve written it, you can edit it. But until your story is on paper, in black and white, you have nothing. 

2. Focus. Write one sentence—yes, one sentence—that states what this manuscript is about. Once you have that, you can refer to it to know if a scene belongs in this manuscript. If a scene doesn’t support the focus statement in some way, it doesn’t belong. 

3. Ground your reader at the beginning of each scene. Make sure your reader knows where the scene takes place, when the scene takes place, and who is present in the scene. If you’re using a controlled third person point of view, the first character mentioned should be the viewpoint character for that scene.

4. Know who your narrator is. If you are using the omniscient point of view, your narrator will be an invisible character who is present in every scene, but will not be any one character (although your narrator will have the ability to pop into any character’s head). If you are using a first person point of view, your narrator will be the “I” character. If you are using a controlled third person point of view, your narrator will be standing right next to your viewpoint character and will only be able to see, hear, smell, etc. what that character sees, hears, smells, etc.   

5. Act it out. Yes, it’s been said over and over, but it’s still the first rule of writing. Don’t tell your reader what is happening—allow your reader to experience it through action and dialogue.

6. Use active voice. Don’t start a sentence with “there is” or “there are” or “there were” or “there was.” Doing so automatically puts you in passive voice. Instead of saying “there were seven cheerleaders at the mall,” say “Seven cheerleaders shopped at the mall.” Likewise, try to avoid words like “when” or “while.” “When John looked to his left, he saw the army advancing” is passive and has a gawking character. Instead, say: “John looked to his left. The army advanced.”

7. Use the strongest verbs possible. Replace “was” with “moved.” Replace “moved” with “walked.” Replace “walked” with “strolled.” Constantly search for stronger and stronger verbs. For truly, it is verbs that give a manuscript its power. Avoid adverbs—instead of saying “He walked slowly,” say “He strolled.” 

8. Use an action or body language instead of dialogue tags. Challenge yourself to replace EVERY dialogue tag with an action by the character speaking. You’ll be surprised at how your story comes to life. 

9. Never name an emotion. If you say, “He was angry,” you’re telling, not showing. Let us see him slam his fist on the counter. Let us feel the breeze as he storms by. 

10. When in doubt, leave it out. If a sentence makes sense without “that” or “of,” leave it out. Leave out any word or phrase or paragraph or scene or chapter that is optional.